Just under the surface

I just got a call from Family Support out of Bre's base in HI. This woman was very nice, but she took forever verifying who I was, so by the time she got thru my whole insides was wound taunt. All I knew for the first few minutes, which seemed an eternity was her name was Teresa from Navy Family Services and she was calling about Bre.


Basically, what she called for was to find out if anyone had contacted me about info on Bre's deployment, if anyone's been in contact with me, if she could send me a pamphlet explaining different things, could she get my email to update me on things, would I like her phone number in case I had questions.


While all of that's all good and well, I wanted to scream at her. Bre's been gone since September and a call like this out of nowhere didn't do my heart any good at all. Especially, since she wouldn't say what the call was about until I verified I was who I said I was when I answered my own phone.


I held it together and even acted normal thru the entire conversation. But as soon as we ended, I shook and cried. Again.


Damn it to hell, I think I have it all together and under control and then one stupid well-meaning but freaking scary phone call and I'm in pieces. Again. I hate this.