Thursday, January 13, 2011

Deep Breathe

Ok - so it's been a while since I posted.

One thing I've learned about myself by having a blog, when I'm depressed or tired or blah I tend to not write or talk alot.

It's just been one of those periods. I don't have alot of blue moods but this one has been an extended one. *sigh

Alot of stress had to do with the person that used to be my sister. Still trying to figure out how to legally change the sister status. I guess Facebook relations will have to do. :)

But more than anything has been Kayla. When all this started in July we read a lot and educated ourselves on leukemia and what to expect. While that's all good and well there's nothing that can prepare you emotionally. And after 5 months of just hair lightly shedding we all thought that she was going to be in that very low percentage of people that don't go bald. One more month and she goes on maintenance and we thought she'd be in the clear. But Sunday she woke up and most - I'm talking massive amounts of hair was left on her pillow. By Tuesday she was 3/4 bald. She was having major meltdowns because of it - she's 14 afterall. Her Mom is getting married Friday (which is a whole different story) and Saturday tons of people will be at the "After the wedding" reception. And here Kayla is - bald, AND with a moonface from all the prednisone. Major meltdown fuel. So Lori took her down and had her head shaved and they went and bought a wig.

This is the pic that sucker punched me and took my breathe away:

But then a few hours later, we have a smiling girl back:

My 19th Anniversary is coming up on the 19th so I'm using that date to shake off all the crud and find my energy and enthusiasm again. But until then I'm just going to wallow for a bit more in self-pity, k?


Puffy said...

Well, this got me crying, but I'm glad that you shared. From a heartbreaking a great big smile. We need a pool to dump our sisters into. How can she get married when her daughter is going through all of this? Your anniversary is a good date to shake off the old and find new energy...good idea.

kim (weltek) said...

*sniffle* After just having watched my 35 year old friend go through the bloated face and hairlessness, I can only imagine what it does to a teen. her wig is adorable, though. I'm glad she found something to put a smile on her face. She's (well, all of you) are entering a milestone in this battle, which means the worst will soon be over. *hugs*

Mom2BJM(Amy) said...

Kayla's wig is adorable! She is so lucky to have you in her life!

Swami said...

It helps me that my sister lives very far away, but that won't work for you.

I officially love Kayla. The sleeping & vulnerable pic and the smiling bravely one are equally beautiful. She's a special girl.