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The Story of Bre and Mike

2011-10-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

Because it should be written down.

Bre graduated high school in May of 2004. She'd already joined the Navy her junior year of high school and I fully supported her choice. She left for Navy bootcamp the last of that June. She was determined to be at the top of her class there and at A school as her goal was to end up in Hawaii.

On the east coast in Philadelphia was an 18 year old boy that was into partying a lot and was getting into some trouble. He knew he didn't want that life so came home one day and told his mom he'd joined the Navy and would be going to bootcamp in August. No one wanted him to go, not family or friends. He arrived in bootcamp 5 weeks after Bre.

He told me once the first time he saw her was across the quad and asked who she was. None of his friends knew her name so he just called her Bella. He never got up the nerve to ask her her name before she graduated the next week. Bre never even noticed him.

When Bre graduated bootcamp she went to A school in Pensacola Fl. The rooms there are in a U shape building. Girls rooms are in the inside of the U, boys are on the outside. 5 weeks after Bre got to A school Mike joined her there. His room and hers shared the back wall. Bre was still focused on being at the top of her class so she studied, a lot. Mike was still the life of the party and was still partying, a lot. Although now it was in his room. He would tell the story of how, many times Bre would come around and politely ask them to turn the music down some only she never saw Mike as he would hide in the bathroom and make his friends answer the door so she wouldn't know it was him being so loud. They still hadn't spoken.

Bre did graduate at the top of her class and did get shore duty in Hawaii. 5 weeks later Mike got orders going somewhere else but at the last minute the orders were changed to Kinea (spelling?). Mike originally thought it was Japan, but when someone told him it was Hawaii his reply was "sweet, that's where that cute brunette went to".

So...5 weeks after Bre got to Hawaii Mike joined her. His cubicle faced hers. Mike's name started popping up into all of our phone conversations. I told Rob I had a feeling she was falling in love. 5 of them decided to rent a nice house. When we went out for the 2 weeks at Christmas it was obvious they were both done, but they were still dancing around a romance. I personally fell in love with Mike and would have been very disappointed had they not gotten together. We spent pretty much the whole two weeks with both of them.

It was probably about 3 months after we came home that she called to say they were dating. When it came time to re-up or get out they both talked. They decided to extend for a year in order to go to Iraq. Both I and Betsy could have strangled both of them. But we were proud at the same time. Mike wound up in Baghdad on the "plush" base. He pretty much had it cush over there. Bre on the other hand wound up on an outer base, with generators that infrequently ran, MRE's or cold sandwiches for food and cold showers. Mike also rarely left base for work, while Bre went on over 75 missions, down streets where IED's had obviously been detonated. I did not know any of this, thank goodness. They got to meet up about 3 times while over there, one being Christmas Eve where Mike told her he wanted to apply to Devgru and wanted her to come to Virginia Beach with him.

They came back in June of 2009. Mike got back first, about two weeks earlier than Bre. When she got in he met her at the airport with flowers and diamond earrings. He applied to Devgru and flew out for an interview. Upon arriving back he told Bre everything went well but the psychologist terrified him. This would later be the same psychologist that came to the house that first week and helped Bre. He's also writing her a recommendation letter to USUHS.

Mike was accepted and after training and setting a record on the Seal's training course that still hasn't been broken was placed on the Gold Team - the premiere team of Devgru. Bre had decided to go reserves and finish college. Mike bought a house, they settled in to life as a couple and things were good. Bre's background made her a perfect partner for someone that was gone a lot and she knew what he did and that it was important.

They had a plan, was enjoying life to the max, was deeply in love and very happy.

Until August 6, 2011 came.

There should be a different ending to this story. I always said it was Fate that they met, that Fate kept throwing him in her face until she wised up. Well, Fate is a stark, raving BITCH.

Part Four and possibly the final part

2011-10-25T09:19:00.001-07:00

After Arlington and the memorial things calmed down a bit. People went home, lives got back to normal for most everyone.

My mom went home and the next week and Terri the week after. School started. Bre and I had talked and she said she was determined to finish. Mike would be mad if she didn't because of him, she said. So she's half way thru her last semester, carrying 19 hours and so far has A's. She's amazing. She's participating in a lot of fundraisers and is focused on running the Shamrock marathon in March or April as that was one of Mike's goals.

I've been trying to talk her and Terri into applying for The Amazing Race. She and Mike had already decided not to have kids and just travel. They'd gone skiing/snowboarding in Montana, spent 2 weeks in Ireland, and numerous other trips around the US. So they were well on their way. I think it would be a good diversion for her for a bit.

But her main goal at this point is getting her application in to USUHS by January 1.

I came back to Oklahome the 12th of October and plan on going back to VAB the middle of November. Just to help her get thru that last push and to settle anything that still needs taken care of as far as Mike's estate goes.

I miss Mike terribly - and my very soul hurts for Bre. Things will never be the same, but I hope that there's a New Normal in her future. One that's happy and full of laughter and though I know there will always be a shadow of sadness I think that it will not be so dark one day.

I can tell you this - Bre is one of the strongest, most loving people I know and I'm proud she's my daughter.

There's probably things I should have added and I might come back and edit a few of these posts but for now this is enough.

Part Three

2011-10-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

As I said before - I'm mainly writing this for myself. It's the first time I've really tried to put things in order as the whole first month seemed just a blur.

During this time - my mom was still here, Terri (Bre's best friend had flown in and was staying), Matt (one of Mike's best of friends and Terri's former boyfriend) was staying, Rob had flown in for the funeral and the burial. And I may have the next two ceremonies mixed up as Rob wasn't here for the big memorial but was here for the burial. I'll have to check and then may come back here and correct, or if I don't have the emotional energy it'll just be wrong. It's my blog dammit, it's not like I'm going to be fact checked.

So the Memorial for all 31 in Virginia Beach was originally going to be held on base but it was so big they moved it to the convention center in Virginia Beach. We were gathered up by our CACO's, which I think a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome goes on with CACO's - they deliver the worst news of a persons life but within a week you've learned to rely on them to the point of feeling like they are family - Anyway, we were taken to the base. Bre by this time was on autodrive. But when the buses that were taking us to the convention center pulled up everyone laughed. In big blue letters "Fun Tours" was written on the side of each bus. Mike would have gotten a kick out of it. It was about a 15 minute trip and when we turned that last corner a sea of white lined the road. Sailor after sailor was standing at attention as our bus went by. We all got quiet and I couldn't help but let the tears flow. One young female soldies standing there was crying so hard her shoulders were shaking, I'll never know her name but I'll never forget her face.

We were lead in to where those not related were already sitting. All watching as we walked by to take our seats. A large picture of each one was lined up on the stage along with there medal shadowbox - Bre sobbed upon seeing Mike's picture as I'm sure every widow that day sobbed. There was a bomb dog and his handler on the helicopter. The Memorial included the dog and of course his handler. The Commander of the Navy spoke quite eloquently - the best thing he said was " he imagined it went something like this - there was a bright light, then everyone looked around - someone said "what the fuck", someone else said "where the hell are we" and then someone said "who the hell is in charge here and I want to see them". It was a nice mental image and kind of reassuring to think of them altogether. Because I can tell you that even if Mike had known how the night would end he would have still gone with his teammates. Bre on the other hand would have paid someone to run over both of Mike's legs to keep him from this deployment had she known. I personally would trade spots with him in a heartbeat if I could.

Arlington - I actually think this came before the memorial. But we were planning the trip to Arlington - we had a few choices of transportation to choose from - the Navy was chartering some buses, drive ourselves, or a couple of people that was going up offered seats. The problem was that Irene was coming in. So our plan was to drive up Thursday night and then drive back Friday after the service. But then there was the issue of Schmayze - Bre's 95lb Rhodesian Ridgeback. There was no way she was leaving him behind with Irene coming. My mom offered to stay back with Schmayze but I didn't want her staying in a hurricane. So we chose to take two cars. I can't even remember the name of the hotel we stayed at but they were very dog friendly and upon hearing the story waived the dog fee. I need to come back here and make sure I give them due props! Betsy had a friend that kept him while we went to the burial.

17 families out of the 31 decided Arlington would be the place that their loved one was buried. Bre and Betsy was allowed to go to the funeral home and place something in the casket if they wanted. Bre chose to place the toy stuffed squirrel she always stuck in his bag when he left - he called her many names - Breazle, Breagle, Face and Squirrel are just a few (the squirrel relates back to when he "met" her in Pensacola and she'd rescued a squirrel after Ivan swept thru and kept it in her barracks until it could take care of itself). He had it and the bracelet she'd given him on his bunk - Dan grabbed them and sent them to Bre before the could be caught up in his "personal belongings" that were kept until just recently. The bracelet simply reads "LAMU" - love and miss you. - She now wears it every day.

There's not a word to describe the ceremony at Arlington. If you're not a part of it, it's amazing. If you are it's horrifying. But that doesn't do it justice because there's just so much respect, love and honor in that place. We sat in the small church and listened to the pastor give a short sermon, then a soldier played his guitar and sang a song he'd composed. I don't remember one single word but I remember it made me cry a little.

Then we all filed out and the people that had gathered while we were in the chapel was amazing. Hundreds were lined up in rows. A white horse in all it's regalia was hooked up to a white carriage. We walked over a mile to their burial site passing hundreds of graves as we went. My mom was accompanied by Jake, one of Mike's friends and the JAG officer at the command. She just turned 69, has had two hip replacement surgeries and outwalked most of us!

Mike's casket was at the end of the row. There was another short ceremony and then the family members were each given another folded flag. The picture above probably says more than all of these jumbled words could ever say. We chose Arlington because although Mike would probably be embarrassed with all the pomp and circumstance Arlington is a place of honor. Mike deserves all that comes with that honor, and if some some boy or girl walks by his grave one day and is inspired somehow Mike would be good with that.

We heard the Irene actually had picked up speed and were told we shouldn't head back that night. We decided to hunker down in Washington and ride it out there. The Navy had sent guys over to Bre's place to place sandbags in front of doors and tape up windows. So we just collapsed at the hotel. Bre was imploding, I could tell she just needed some breathing room. I talked to Jake about getting her out of there for a bit. He told Terri and Bre that he was staying at the W in Washington and wanted to get them a room for the night. She didn't want to so I all but shoved her out the door. He took them for dinner and drinks and got them a fantastic room. She texted me later "thank you". Jake's just one more person I owe a ton too.

Rob's flights got cancelled until Sunday so he flew out of Washington and then we headed home. We found not much damage at all from Irene. Thank goodness.

PS - that hand on the right? He was someone's very weird son, I had to rescue Bre a few times because he liked to touch. A lot.

PSS - sometime during all of this I experienced my first earthquake.

Part Two

2011-10-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

After Dover was over we flew back to Virginia Beach, where a whole gang of Mike and Bre's friends had gathered at the house. They needed to be there as much as we needed them to be. I think that night is when people started to arrive from all over the place. Some of their friends had since left the Navy so they were broke college kids. By that weekend we had 7 blow up beds filled, the sofas were taken and the upstairs bedroom was filled with sleeping bags. I don't think we ever counted how many people were staying there but it was more than I would have ever thought possible.

Alot of VAB friends opened their homes to people they'd never met, but those closest to Bre and Mike didn't want to leave her.

The funeral was set for the 18th - and I have to say here, Mike's mom was and is a freaking rock star. Since Mike and Bre were married yet, she was the next of kin - so any decisions that had to be made were directed at her. She always picked up the phone and called Bre to include her in any decision - from funeral and burial, whether or not to cremate, songs, ceremonies, ect. I owe her so much. So they decided on the funeral to be held in Philly - ah, let me back up. They decided on cremation as Mike's Page Two said he wanted to be cremated and shot into space - so cremation it was (we're still working on the shot into space thing - he's such a brat). So he would be cremated at Dover and then Bre was to assign one of the Navy personnel to accompany him from the moment he was cremated up to the funeral.

Ian is Mike's best friend. Ian's wife Christine is friends with both Bre and Mike, but she has some social issues that makes it hard to be close to her. Plus she has a rivalry issue that puts pressure on the friendship. Plus, she's insecure so she sees slights where no slights exist. So prior to Mike deploying Christine got her feelings hurt because there was a get-together with some of the girls and she didn't get a personal invitation - long story short - she deleted the 5 from her facebook page, including Bre and Ian got irritated with Mike. So the four always got together before one of them deployed - Bre tried calling and Christine wouldn't answer - then Mike tried calling Ian with the same result. Mike finally texted Ian "dude, if something happens to me you're going to feel like the biggest douchebag". Mike left and Ian usually checked up on Bre while Mike was gone but nothing. Bre was pissed, she called me one night and told me the whole story and said "I swear to God if anything happens to Mike Ian better not show his face". Ian and Christine were the first ones over. Ian did feel like a douchebag. Bre named Ian as the person that would look over Mike. Ian sobbed. It was probably the kindest thing Bre will ever do for someone.

On the second Sunday after Mike died people started showing up to the house with grills, steaks, beer (lots and lots of beer), tables, tents, chairs, ect. Bottles of Jameson were opened. Toasts started flowing. It was as close to an Irish wake that I'll ever come. Mike's life was celebrated to the max, and those Seals and Support Teams can celebrate! My mom even took a few shots of Jameson. :)

So the Navy flies Bre and I up to Philly on the Tues before the funeral. The rest of the bunch is caravaning up the next day (Rob was getting into VAB the night we left). The Philly police pick us up at the airport, I can just imagine what people were thinking when we were escorted to a waiting patrol car. They took us to the downtown Sheraton, where the Sheraton had given us the Presidential Suite thru the weekend. I can say this, Philly loves their boys. We were treated like visiting royalty. Our rooms looked out over the church, Cathedral Basilica of SS Peter and Paul - a very old and beautiful church. We were told that Mike wouldn't be there until the next day. Bre was holding up, but very haunted. I played with her hair that night until she feel asleep.

We were also told that the idiots of Westboro were making plans. I think the Warriors Watch Riders, the Philly PD AND Mike's Command were all hoping they would. :) They never showed. Cowards.

Mike was escorted to Philly by the Philly PD, Warrior's Watch Riders and Ian. The closed down the highway along the way. It was very touching. The Philly FOP donated their building for a reception afterwards.

The morning of the funeral it was raining. It felt like even the heavens were crying. We had walked to the church at 8:30. Tons of pictures were placed around the church, few flowers as we had asked for the Neads Foundation to receive donations in lieu of flowers and Mike, in a plain wood box with a brass plack on top. They asked the family along with Bre to form a greeting line and for 4 hours they stood in line greeting the hundreds that came to pay their respects. I pulled up a chair behind Bre and had her lean against me. Then their came a time that I made her take off her heels and slip on some flats I had in my purse. (I'd actually been thinking I'd need them later :) ). At 1 the mass started. It was not as emotional as I had expected, I think ceremonies are a bit numbing.

There was a bit of levity when Mike's aunts cell phone went off. She dug it out of her purse and it said "Mike". Her boyfriend's name is Mike, but Bre and Mike's sister Kaitlyn swears it was Mike interrupting his own funeral, especially after Mike the boyfriend says he didn't call.

After the ceremony we walked out to the fountain area in front. People lined the streets, most with video going so who knows what's on youtube out there. The military had filed out first and were standing at attention, Ian gave a eulogy that was sad, funny and very touching. And then they gave the 21 gun salute and played Taps. I always cry during that part in a movie. I sobbed that day.

The Philly police transported us to the FOP lodge where they had dinner being served upstairs and the liquor and beer was flowing downstairs. Not too many people stayed upstairs very long. We actually left pretty early but the stories we heard the next day - we'll lets just say Mike was famous for dropping his pants when he got drunk - there was much pant dropping (including my husband's I heard) in Mike's name that night. I don't think anyone was feeling very good the next day. As it should have been.

Next up was the memorial for the Gold Team and the burial at Arlington.

Wow - it's been a while

2011-10-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

So I ventured into blogland and saw that my last post was way back in January. Long before my world changed. So I figured I'd post a little bit, maybe a lot once I get going.

I thought during the last post that we were going thru one of the worst possible things ever. I laugh now at how wrong I was.

I'm happy to report that Kayla is doing well. Her hair has grown back, she's now back in school and she's still doing maintenance chemo. Next July she should be having a "cancer free" party. Yay!

But as most of you know in August Mike, our Mike, was on the helicopter August 6 that was shot down in Afghanistan. The week before Bre and I had been talking about my 50th birthday next October and how I would most likely be on Tybee Island watching my kid get married. I wanted Mike to wear his dress whites and she was adamantly against it. The morning of August 6th we'd been texting about the Glee Project, I told her I was jumping in the shower getting ready for a cousin's surprise birthday party. I'd just gotten out of the shower and gotten dressed when the phone rang, it was a number I didn't recognize and I ignored it as someone had posted my number on craigslist as selling a large parrot cage and I was not answering strange numbers. They called twice more. Then the phone rang with Bre's number coming up - I answered it with my goofy Hellllooooo thinking she had another thing to add about the Glee Project. A man (whom later I would meet and be introduced to as her CACO, Matt Bieker) asked if this was "Dawnya" and my heart stopped as I could hear Bre wailing in the background. Instantly I thought she'd been in an accident. I answered yes, is that Bre is she alright. He replied that Mike Strange had been killed in Afghanistan and he was there with Bre. My mind froze for a minute and I told him that wasn't possible. Then I told him to let me speak to Bre. He handed her the phone and all she could do was whimper. I told her I was on the first plane out, asked for Matt and told him that somebody better stay with her, I was on my way. I think Delta kicked someone off when I called to make flight arrangements, they were awesome. That was the longest trip of my life. Bre met my mom and I at the airport and when I dropped my bags and ran to her she was shaking like a leaf. I'd worried all the way out what to say, what to do - the reports were on every television in each airport and it just got bigger and bigger. I just whispered that I was there.

Over the first days that passed it was like moving thru water, everything slightly out of focus and very robotic. My main focus was making sure she ate and keep track of everything that was happening. Matt gave us info on what was happening, how it had happened, when they would bring the men home and set up an appt for her with the Command's psychologist.

Three days after the downing they brought them home. We were flown to Dover where the repatriating of the men happens when someone gets killed over there. There usually one suppose to be 3 family members there but this was such a big deal they eased up on that. When we got there the Secret Service and dogs were all over the place. We were held in a large room with all of the other families. Mike's family was one of the last to arrive, they'd been escorted by the Philly PD from Philly as Mike's mom is a police officer. We were suppose to be meeting for the first time at a wedding, not this way.

Obama walked into the room and talked to each individual person with either a shake or a hug. I found myself with my nose in his armpit and wished I was anywhere else for any other reason. I have a picture of us that looks like I'm crying but all I remember saying was I wanted the son of a bitch that did this head on a pike. He said he could promise the pike but they'd get them and we'd know. He also said "if there's anything he could ever do". We'll see.

After that we were lead to a large hangar. It took 2 large transport planes to bring them all back. We sat in folded chairs as the President, Leon Panetta and others stood at attention as each coffin was solemnly taken off the plane and transported to a waiting white ambulance-like vehicle. Four coffins per vehicle. It took three hours and the President never moved except to salute each coffin. At first it was hard as you didn't know which was Mike as no one had been positively identified, so you imagined each one as Mike but then as with time went on you just became numb. Bre held up well, well - let's say she mentally checked out for a while, it was her way of coping.

We were told that Mike was one of the most recognizable, but we also knew that one of the caskets held remains from numerous men and they would most likely be buried like that. She was told that viewing would not be an option, so most recognizable took on a new meaning.

She had received a note from the last guy that had seen Mike - that was still alive - Dan. He said that he was on watch and that when the call came in for the mission that Lou - the CO told him to grab Strange - "tell him if he can be ready in 5 he's with us tonight". Mike had been on missions for the past 3 nights and was suppose to be down that night. Dan found him in his tent reading his English text - he was taking an online class - and said if you can be ready in 5 Lou wants you. Mike's response was "hell yeah". Dan helped him get his gear on and put him on the bus taking him to the helo.

The report says that the rear rotor was hit by an rpg upon take off after successfully completing the mission. That the blast would have either knocked them unconscious or that the spin of the helo would have stopped their hearts and they probably never knew anything. I hope this is true. They were only 300 yrds off the ground. Mike once told his mom, don't worry about me over there, I'm the guy that goes in after the shooting has stopped. The only place I'm really in danger is on the helicopter. --

I'm stopping for now - I'm writing this more for me I guess, so if you've read this far I'm sorry it's so jumbled.

Deep Breathe

2011-01-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

Ok - so it's been a while since I posted.

One thing I've learned about myself by having a blog, when I'm depressed or tired or blah I tend to not write or talk alot.

It's just been one of those periods. I don't have alot of blue moods but this one has been an extended one. *sigh

Alot of stress had to do with the person that used to be my sister. Still trying to figure out how to legally change the sister status. I guess Facebook relations will have to do. :)

But more than anything has been Kayla. When all this started in July we read a lot and educated ourselves on leukemia and what to expect. While that's all good and well there's nothing that can prepare you emotionally. And after 5 months of just hair lightly shedding we all thought that she was going to be in that very low percentage of people that don't go bald. One more month and she goes on maintenance and we thought she'd be in the clear. But Sunday she woke up and most - I'm talking massive amounts of hair was left on her pillow. By Tuesday she was 3/4 bald. She was having major meltdowns because of it - she's 14 afterall. Her Mom is getting married Friday (which is a whole different story) and Saturday tons of people will be at the "After the wedding" reception. And here Kayla is - bald, AND with a moonface from all the prednisone. Major meltdown fuel. So Lori took her down and had her head shaved and they went and bought a wig.

This is the pic that sucker punched me and took my breathe away:

But then a few hours later, we have a smiling girl back:

My 19th Anniversary is coming up on the 19th so I'm using that date to shake off all the crud and find my energy and enthusiasm again. But until then I'm just going to wallow for a bit more in self-pity, k?

Take two

2010-12-01T11:28:00.000-08:00

I had this oh so long, funny, informative post yesterday and blogger decided it wasn't good enough so *poof* away it went into the blogosphere never to be seen from again. *whimper

This one won't be long, funny or informative. Just warning you.

Had a great time with Kayla and Ashley. She showed no interest in crocheting but continuously beat my butt at Wii. The one time that I won she looked at me and said "Really? You'd beat a kid with cancer?". Brat. Loved Brat.

Mike and Bre made it here safe and home again safe. The inbetween time was great. We had Thanksistmas here at the house. I'm not saying it went off without a hitch, because what holiday is complete without a hitch or two. Like my mother saying she would bring the ham and at the last minute letting me know that she was too tired to do the ham. And then dealing with the mother-in-law not having ham and hearing how she didn't like turkey. Needless to say the mother figure will not be relied on again and is only allowed to bring non-essential items to holiday dinners. Like, say, saltine crackers. Nobody would miss saltine crackers, right?

Then we all headed to the cabin. Beautiful weather, fun family and friends, big bonfire. And a little thing I like to call the Oklahoma Polar Bear Express, or OPBE or even Dawnya's Dumbass Idea. I said earlier in the year - like in July when it's hotter than Hades and it's been long enough to forget how cold it gets - that I was going to jump in the river the Saturday after Tday. So come Friday night I'm hearing a lot of "you won't do it's". I've never grown up past the point of not doing something that someone says I won't do it in that I dare you tone. AND - I had talk to the owner of the cabin that had said that the water was actually warmer than the surrounding air so I wouldn't be cold until I got out. So thinking I had one up on everyone - AND - having talked my gullible sister-in-law into doing this with me come Saturday morning we sprinted out of our nice warm beds and ran and jumped into the river. That man that owns the cabin? He's a freaking LIAR!! Holy mother of all that's good - that water was freaking cold. I lost my breathe and my toes went numb in about 2 seconds flat!

Thank goodness the cabin has two showers! And plenty of hot water!

Aren't you glad this second post about the same crap is so much shorter? :)

Happy Holidays!

Odds and ends again - or maybe it's just odds

2010-11-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

Got the inside of the house decorated. Rob's promised to get the outside lights hung before I get back. He's also making an extra leaf for my table as we're having quite a few people for T-day this year. Good man! I think I'll keep him.

Lori's gone to Mexico for a short vacation, so I'm staying with Kayla and Ashley for 3 days. I have to admit, I worry about walking that edge of being an over-protective mom while Lori's gone. I plan on cleaning her house while she's gone. You can tell she's been overwhelmed, so I figure that's one gift easily given.

I've brought my crocheting with me, thinking maybe I can get Kayla interested. She's been so blah, bored and down lately that maybe something none tiring will get her out of the doldrums. I can't imagine how it feels to be a 14 yr old stuck at home, feeling like crap but at the same time being bored out of your mind.

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving plans are coming together!

Home Sweet Home

2010-11-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

I've spent this week up at the hospital with my mother. 5 kidney stones removed. Ouch.
I'm tired of hospital food, hospital air and hospital hours, among other things.

I'm starting to decorate the house for Christmas. We're celebrating Christmas on Thanksgiving on my side of teh family. I'm staying with Kayla for 5 days in the middle of the month, so I need to get it done before then. I need a list that I can start checking off. :)

I'm 48 - REALLY?

2010-10-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

What the hell happened and where did 20 years of my life go? I don't feel 48, well maybe I do, but when you're 28 you think 48 is oooollllld. And I don't feel oooolllld. We're not counting those mornings, mkay?

Anywhoos, the birthday day was fun. Cook out on the river. Rob made fried mushrooms and balsamic onions and grilled sliders on Hawaiian rolls. It was a beautiful day and the river was peaceful. Had a good croquet match. I will never be generous with Dennis Patrick again and that boy is being "sent" anytime I get the chance!

Kayla's counts are still very low - 275. To start this next round of chemo they need to be 750. They're giving her another week off. The Dr said counts are usually this low at this point in the treatment but that given that they gave her last week off treatment she was hoping to see a bigger bounce back. That's worrisome. And I hate that she has such low counts now that flu season is kicking off. So say some prayers or send good thoughts.

I'm in the process of crocheting scarves for Christmas. I was in the mall a few weeks ago and it looked like crocheted scarves were "in". So for my twin nieces and Bre I'm crocheting scarves for their stocking stuffers. I purchased some very funky and fun yarn online and I have all these buttons from my grandmother so I'm going to use a few in each scarf as adornment.

I bought a black leather shag rug for the living room. Deep cleaning before I put it down. Hopefully the dogs doesn't think it's one big chew toy. I have one under the dining room table that they leave alone but it's smaller and sits underneath something. I don't have a coffee table yet so it'll be wide open.

Birthdays Week and Poached Eggs

2010-10-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

This is Birthday week - as I previously posted this was the BFF's 40th, my Mom's is today and mine is Saturday.

I spent the day with my mom at the hospital yesterday. She had a kidney stone that wouldn't pass. She's recuperating today. In a few weeks we'll do it all over again for her other kidney. Fun! No fun birthday for her this year.

Saturday Rob's throwing me a cookout at the river. This. I am looking forward too!

And on a different note - I find myself loving poached eggs. I owe it all to Gordon Ramsey. He always makes a big deal out of a perfectly poached egg, so I took that as a personal challenge. I googled and researched and watched some youtube videos. And then attempted my first poached egg. And then I attempted again - as the first on was a complete failure. By my seventh egg I was a egg poaching machine. They're so silky - I had to search for that word - no grease - egg white cooked thru - yellow warm and runny. Some salt and fresh cracked pepper and yummy! I think Rob is getting a bit burnt out on all the poachy goodness, but I think if I can make a good eggs benedict he'll be happy again. :) Off to watch a few youtubes.

The Big Four Oh

2010-10-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Lori's fortieth was yesterday. And I hurt today. I can't remember the last time I had a hangover. And now I remember again why I don't drink excessively. I blame the Jello shots!

And the chocolate cake shots. And the pineapple upside down cake shots. And the rattlesnake shots. And that shot of moonshine I was dared to take. *groan

As bartender I was the most popular girl at the party. And then we went dancing.

This is directed to my calves. Calves, be prepared. I'm ashamed of you. How can you possibly be this sore after a few hours of dancing?! Be prepared, because you and I are going to get into better shape.

Kayla's feeling better. But her counts are at all time low's. She's going to the Carrie Underwood concert tonight. The Dr gave grudging approval as long as she wears a mask the whole time. And while I have major reserves about this I understand trying to take care of her and let her be a teenager too. I think I tend to be more of the mom in "My Sisters Keeper". It worries me that it's flu season, but they will be in a suite so less people. They did bejewel the mask. :D

Off to find some more asprin.

Date Day

2010-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Rob and I had kind of disconnected lately. He was busy, I was busy - it happens sometimes. So we decided we just needed an US day yesterday.

So we got up early and headed into Tulsa. The State Fair was in town so we thought we go to that and be open to anything else.

You have to pass by a Bass Pro Shop to actually get to Tulsa from our house. Lucky me. So Rob looks longingly so being the good wife that I am, we exit and go. I'm a watcher, meaning I like to watch people and either a) make up their life story - this is highly entertaining sitting in an airport lounge. Except you wouldn't believe how many international spies pass thru our airports! And not all of them are handsome. Or b)watch how they interact with their families and surroundings.

I decided after finding a cozy bench on the second floor that overlooks the lower floor that there are four types of men that go to Bass Pro Shop. There are the hunters, there are the fishermen, there are the hunter/fishermen and then there are the guys that heard that if you have a penis and two balls that you should WANT to go to Bass Pro Shop but get there and wonder what all the fuss is about.

I did witness a charming scene of a father and son playing a game of checkers. Or....it was some pervert trying to kidnap a kid. Hmmmm.

Then we stopped at a party store and picked up shot glasses for the party next weekend. And killed about an hour in Barnes and Noble. I love their comfy chairs!

Then off to the fair we went. Us and EVERYONE else in and around the state! Parking was horrendous. But it was all worth it when the ticket woman told me I had great hair! :D

I should never be allowed to go to a fair. Ever - it's dentrimental to my health - I tried chocolate covered bacon and took one bite - ok, two - bites of a hamburger who's bun was a - ok, two - krispy creme doughnuts. But I balanced it out with a roasted ear of corn and a freshly squeezed lemonade.

It's also detrimental to my pocketbook. I'm a self confessed kitchen gadget whore. *hangs head I can't help it. Those hawkers are hypnotists. My steps faulter even with Rob pulling me along and pretty soon I'm at a complete stop. Then my head starts nodding in agreement when they're telling me I can't live without The Miracle Kitchen Whiz, or whatever that piece of plastic that now resides in my cabinet is called. It's not until the next morning that their spell wears off and I feel a little disoreinted and wonder where that Whiz came from!

After sitting in the beer garden and trying a Scottish lager, not bad, we wandered back to the car. Broke, tired but reconnected. Yay us.

Softball, scarves and boys

2010-10-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

So last night was Ashley's - Kayla's big sister -senior night softball game. For those of you unfamiliar with school sports - senior night is the night the senior's on the team are honored along with their parents. It is not the night that senior's get in free.

Anywhoos, we were all there. I forgot our chairs. I am not a blechers girl - they kill my back so I was sad that my chair was an hour away. :( Kayla braved the bleachers to sit next to me. With her chair sitting empty I did the eyeball coveting thing all night. *sigh I'm really selfish inside.

Of course Kayla and I were the only ones whooping and hollering. Everyone politely clapped when others names were called. I told Kayla - give out a big old whoop when they call Ash -Ashley said "I knew they were going to do that!" We giggled. :D

She now has a boyfriend - because of the Asperger's was kept back a grade so he's in her grade but is a younger man. :) She made a point of saying that, I told her all the smart women got them young and trained them the way they wanted. That's what I did with Rob. She says he asks how she's feeling everyday and calls alot. He was the one assigned to be her homework buddy - which I think is a great program.

Anyway, that's my update.

Hypocrites in the dark

2010-09-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

You know, I don't know if I'm just really on edge right now and things are just hitting me wrong but I'm really sick of people.

I'm tired of people on the moral high horse exposing the virtues of not living together before marriage and sitting an example for the kids while I know for a fact you've cheated on every spouse you've had.

And yes, I know I'm probably a little touchy about being told in a round about way that I set a bad example for Bre by living with Rob for 13 years before marrying him. But you can just suck it.

I'm tired of being told I should go to church and be more religious while I know for a fact that you, who goes to church and touts religion like it's a bugle to blow, stabbed you're own kids in the back when it came to their inheritance from their grandparents. They're struggling from paycheck to paycheck and you're building a 4 car garage onto your house. *disclaimer - this is not about me

Hmmm, I think I'll take my position with God over yours any day.

I'm tired of a sibling that is completly and utterly psycho. That befriends 20 year olds so she can feel young again, while I know her kids are wondering why she can't be a Mom to them.

People are just pissing me off!

I wish too

2010-09-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Kayla turns 14 today. She turns 14 while she lays in a hospital bed at Children's Hospital waiting for her next round of chemo. How's that for a sucky ass birthday! I sent balloons. Whoopee.

She went in yesterday and received a round, they kept her last night and she gets another one today at 3:30. I talked to her on the phone for a bit and she sounded good. She said "I'm 14!" and then said "I wish" and then stopped and said "nevermind". We all know what the rest of that sentence is. I wish too.

I had a friend send me a necklace to give her - it's 3 silver rings on a chain. One says Love, another says Hope and the last says Strength. That's Kayla. It's perfect. She's perfect.

All about Bre

2010-09-08T00:20:00.000-07:00

She has always been the light in my life - so while all the crap is swirling around I figured what better way to shove it all away for a bit than by focusing on her.

So here's my "all about Bre" post.

The university finally reviewed her Smartscript from the Navy and will accept 33 hours. She needed them to accept 32 in order to graduate next December. Yay! So she went from starting her sophmore year to starting her junior year in one day. You know where I'll be come December 2011! She'll then be applying to the Armed Services medical school. I'll let you know when to start keeping fingers crossed, saying prayers, ect.

She just finished running her first Half marathon. Which she didn't train for. The two weeks prior to the run, she spent in Florida doing her two weeks for the Navy reserves. She amazes me, and I have to admit that her athleticism came from her bio father's gene pool. Because no one on my side of the family would ever think about running any type of marathon. :)

She volunteers for a hospice and her first lady she visited with weekly passed away recently. She's kept in touch with the woman's husband and he called the woman in charge of the hospice to tell her how grateful he was that Bre had been sent to them. The woman took the time to call me (she has this wonderful Scottish accent that I could have listened to all day) to tell me what a special kid I had. I know. :)

Somewhere in the past six years she's gone from being this great kid I was lucky enough to be the one to raise, to this amazing woman that I'm in awe of. Whatever power it is that assigns kids to moms I thank from the bottom of my heart for giving her to me.

Even the teen years were worth it after all. :D

Was hoping for a better month

2010-09-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

I'd planned on having Kayla stay with me for a few days this week. She could use a break and so could Mom. But her counts hit a record low of 300 so she's homebound for a while.

The doctor said that the first month the steroid could give a false positive high count, which it did. So now that she's off the steroid her true counts are showing. Which means she's basically at home. This treatment lasts for 56 days, but hopefully her counts will rebound before this leg of the treatment is up.

The math teacher is her homeschool teacher. She visited yesterday and will come twice a week. Mainly it's just the core subjects they'll be pushing and electives she can either do or not. I hate it, because she'd just found a love of drama last year and now can't participate. Stupid disease!

She's still just lightly shedding, no dramatic hair loss yet. Thank goodness.

Dad is going to resume visitation soon, which will be good for Mom. She's been carrying alot on her shoulders.

Anyway, I'm glad a sucky summer is almost over. Sorry Boo.

Divorcing a Sister

2010-08-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

I think it should be legal.

I don't even know where to start. My sister and I have not always had a good relationship but over the past few years I thought we'd become close, or at least as close as we'd ever be.

Even though I totally disagree with her relationship with a married man I haven't shunned her and when she's needed to talk I listen. I don't sugar-coat how I feel about what she's been doing but I don't damn her either. And my door has always been open when she's needed somewhere to escape to, which she has used frequently over the past two years, sometimes for weeks at a time.

So the recent issue started when I went with Ashley down to Dallas. That was the week that the boyfriend was with his legitimate family in Mexico on vacation. In the past she's always crashed at my house during those times. I didn't invite her to go with us to Dallas, in fact I didn't even think about it, and if I had I wouldn't have anyway. She's never shown an interest in softball, she's only met Ash twice, and it would have been like keeping a 3 year old entertained while we were down there.

The next issue she has is that even though she didn't show up once to help with the renovation of our mother's kitchen her nose is out of joint about not being invited to the celebratory float trip. Ok, she showed up once. Dressed to the nines, sat and talked for an hour or so and then said she had plans and had to leave. All while my brother and I cut tile and hung backboard and sweated our butts off in 100 degree heat. And in all honesty - I knew she'd be upset over not being invited and I didn't care.

So now she's not talking to me for slights she's made into molehills. And has texted me that I don't understand what has happened and that she's traumatized. Whut?! About what? When asked to explain she says she doesn't want to add to MY plate. What the hell? She uses sentences like "it takes me back to some memories from some place I don't even know". Again - whut?! My not inviting you to Dallas where I'm taking care of Kayla's big sister at a week long softball tournament and then not inviting you to a float trip where you really didn't deserve an invite has traumatized you? I wish I had her problems, but I think I could handle it alot better.

I just can't deal with her drama right now. I think the problem is she's not the center of attention, any attention.

So do you think that if I say "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you" it will work.

Yeah, I didn't think so. And I'm sure this will just be a footnote at some point. But thanks for letting me rant.

First step of treatment - complete

2010-08-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

When her treatment plan was first given out the doctor gave us a hand out - a flowchart - with a right and left side. Kind of one of those in magazines where if you answer "yes" then you follow this arrow and "no" you follow that arrow. Well, in this flow chart you always want your arrow to follow the left-side of the page. That's the half of the page that you follow when you're responding to treatment well and it's the less aggressive side with the best results.

She's finished the first leg of treatment - that first crucial month - and been able to stay on the "left side of the page". They wanted her bone marrow to be producing 0% leukemic cells at this point - she's producing 1% but that still keeps her within expected range.

Now she starts the second leg - starting today the chemo doesn't include Prednisone but they are adding the drug that makes you really nauseated and dehydrated. So her moon face and some of the anger will subside over the next couple of weeks but she'll be sick alot more. There are no good side effects to any of this.

Some good finacial news - her dad had gotten laid off this past year and kept his insurance coverage with Cobra, he recently found another job with insurance and had sent in his Cobra letter ending coverage. They never received it. So she has primary and secondary insurance. So even though the insurance companies are fighting about who's primary in the long run the treatment will pretty much be covered. In addition, mom had taken out an Aflac cancer rider on herself this past year, she figured since she's a smoker it wouldn't hurt. She just found out that when she did that they automatically put her kids on it also. So she will get a large check with the initial claim and they will pay 900.00 for every chemo treatment. She's very relieved because she can hire a tutor for Kayla while she's out of school for these first 6 months. And even though everyone would wish that none of this had to be considered good news or needed it sure is a weight off both of their shoulders. Now they can just focus on Kayla and not worry about the mounting bills.

Good News

2010-08-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Kayla's test for the Philadelphia chromosome was negative. Which is really good news. ALL is harder to treat with the Philly chromosome present.

Her good counts are up and bad counts are down - which means she's responding to treatment and they're not going to have to go the more aggressive route at this time.

Her hair is not falling out as rapidly as the doctor predicted. She has a light shedding going on. I'm not saying anything but I do have my fingers crossed that she's in that itsy bitsy teeny percentage that doesn't lose it all.

Her mood and attitude is improving. Although she had a minor breakdown after realizing she has a double chin, from the prednisone. She's also gained 8 lbs, also from the steroid.

I've bought a cool scarf that I'm bedazzling and painting. Hopefully it will never see the light of day.

Softball, heat and stink

2010-07-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday before last Lori called and asked if I could accompany Ashley to Dallas for her 3 day softball tournament on Tuesday. Originally she, Ashley and Kayla were suppose to go, but.... And then Lori's day was going to take her but his doctor nixed that idea on Friday. It's not often that when you tell someone "if there's anything I can do just let me know", so when asked there wasn't hell or high water that could have kept me from going.

I arranged with my offices to work from the hotel, packed Sunday and crammed about 4 days worth of work into Monday. And then we were off come Tuesday morning with the jeep crammed full of coolers, softball stuff and not enough clothes. I told Ash there were only 4 rules, listen to her coach, listen to me, no "L" word or "C" word talk and have fun.

Wednesday was Six Flags, where I kept up with the teenagers (I did take a 30 minute break), rode rides and wore myself out. Team dinner at the Olive Garden. Thursday the tournament started. We were at the fields from 6:30 am to almost 10 that night, luckily we had a breeze and some cloud cover. But I still didn't have a thread of dry clothing on me. Won 3 out of 4 games. Friday was blazing hot, thank goodness for snow cones! Out at the fields from 12 to 8ish, again not a dry thread on me. Not only am I quickly running out of clothes but the hotel room is starting to smell like a man's lockerroom. At a late dinner at IHop and fell into bed. A few of the softball mom's have adopted me as one of their own by this time, which made it a more pleasant trip. Of course I didn't give them much of a choice, it's kind of hard to ignore the crazy woman sitting in your midst yelling for all your kids. Saturday we're still in play and it's way hot and again thank goodness for snow cones. We made it to 5th place out of 23 teams. Ashley played great and had an awesome time.

We got home yesterday about 4 pm and I wanted to collapse but laundry was screaming my name.

Kayla's third treatment of chemo is scheduled for tomorrow. She's still mad at the world at this point. But it seems she's responding well to the chemo. No hair loss as of yet. That will be the next big hurdle.

Kayla

2010-07-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

I figured I'd come in and do some cleaning and use this place to vent about this journey Kayla is on. Seems a more appropriate place than OT or facebook.

Kayla is my BF's youngest. July 9th she was diagnosed with leukemia - ALL. She'll be 14 in September. She's as close to a second daughter as I'll ever come.

The following I've para-copied from OT to save time and energy. My enegy seems to have been zapped. " BF has been divorced twice. Two kids, one from each marriage. The oldest child is an easy child, intelligent, kind, witty, easy to parent. The youngest is a handfull - a major handfull. Obnoxious, argumentative, impulsive, willfull, has now been diagnosed with Asperger's but very mild, creative, moody and intelligent. She's my favorite."

I'm inserting a Kayla story here to give you a better idea of this crazy child. :) Two years ago at the end of the school year Ashley brought home the school yearbook with a "Mom! Come here and look at this!" Kayla was in lots of pictures. Lots of pictures she shouldn't have been in. She was in the soccer group photo, the choir group photo, the basketball group photo, the drama group photo (I'm sure there are others but...). So Lori had Kayla come in and explain. Seems on photo day Kayla's class had a substitute teacher. The announcement for drama group picture came over the speaker to assemble in the auditorium. Kayla was bored so decided having a picture taken was better than being bored. So she just got up and left the room and headed to the auditorium. No one even questioned her, not even the group when she inserted herself. She did that each time an announcement came over and no one ever told her she couldn't have her picture taken with them. Asked by her sister why she wasn't in the football pic her reply was "boys stink". I admit it. I laughed. Hard.

So she was admitted on Friday. By Monday she'd been poked, prodded, jabbed, a port installed and her first round of chemo. Test results showed that 95% her bone marrow was producing leukemic cells. But the leukemic cells had not gotten into the spine, so a round of chemo was injected into her spinal column.

Lori had the doctor tell her she has leukemia. After the doctor had gone thru her spiel about leukemia and such Kayla said "I have a question. Are you saying I have cancer?" When the doctor said yes she did Kayla asked if she was going to lose her hair. When the doctor said yes she was. Kayla's response was "that fucking sucks!" Lori didn't know whether to laugh or cry or scold. Her and the doctor both laughed.

General random info: Kayla went into the hospital with a count of 49,000. Normal is between 4300 and 10800. After the first round of chemo it had dropped to 4500. The test results for the Philadelphia chromosome hasn't come back yet. She'll start losing her hair probably sometime this week or next. She got to go home Friday night and goes back in today for her second treatment.

Here's the thing that hit me - She basically has to live in a bubble for the first month because she's suseptible to everything. Home schooled for the first 6 months and frequently won't be able to attend after that. Treatment lasts about 2 1/2 years. There will be days where her count is such that she can't leave the house and then there will be days that her count is good enough that it might be "let's go see a movie" day. For her age group with the results of tests that have come back so far she falls into the survival rate of somewhere around 40% after 5 yrs.

To paraphrase Kayla - this fucking sucks.

Wow - I've neglected my blog

2010-02-10T07:14:00.000-08:00

I even have a half written post hanging out about Christmas, but now it seems dumb to post. I may at one point just so as my memory fades I can read about Christmas 2009. :)

I don't even have anything much to write about right now. Just thought I'd come here and dust her off a bit.

Endings

2009-12-30T07:34:00.000-08:00

As year endings go I think this one is one of the saddest for me. The person I've considered a best friend for a long period of time has been changing and showing aspects of her character that I just have a hard time over-looking or accepting. And while I know that part of being a friend is accepting and understanding I'm about at the end of those particular attributes. I feel like a battery that has been drained over the past year and I never get a re-charge. So as this year changes into a new year I think I'll let this best friendship change into a different kind of friendship.

It's sad, but I think on the other side it will be much healthier for me. *sniff

Comparisons

2009-12-12T08:11:00.001-08:00

Bre and I at about the same age. Yeah, I'm stylin' that 80's Farrah 'do. But there's some resembelance there.

what ifs

2009-12-01T13:06:00.000-08:00

Ever had those what if moments?

I recently reconnected with a college friend. He was probably my closest guy friend in college. The one that nothing romantic ever happened with and when you look back you wonder why and realize you probably were a dumbass for not going there. :)

Anyway, we were reminiscing the other day and we both laughed that we'd never even kissed. Which is probably a good thing because we've fallen back into that easy comraderie. But after the conversation if made me wonder "what if".

Not that I wouldn't want to be married to Rob. But it's strange how something as small as a kiss could have changed my path. Makes me wonder about all the little decisions I made without knowingly making them that lead me here.

He did make me laugh and feel good when he said he could remember the day we met at Teke Beach. I had on a yellow bikini (I have no idea if that's even correct) and he had to go get in the lake. *snort Those were the days. Sadly, Teke Beach is no longer there. It fell to the progress of a 4 lane highway. *sniff

*groan

2009-11-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

I ate too much over the last 4 days.

I am only about a third of the way done on Christmas decorations.

I have put off errand running for far too long.

I need a haircut.

I think that's enough groans for one post.

*sigh

2009-11-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Political/Religious post to follow - Beware.

The following is an excerpt from an email from a family member to Bre -

Bre - what I would like for you to do is get involved with a Bible believing church. If that pastor is up on the agenda of the present administration he may enlighten you. Usually a family member won't be believed and it takes an outside person to turn on the light of truth. I will be praying that you will be strong enough in the Lord to be able to see what is taking place in what will be the "New World Order" that Obama will be president of one of these days. If you were a student of the last book of the Bible "Revelation" and the teaching of the "End of Times" you would be able to understand and see that Obama is going to be very much a part of the beginning of the Tribulation."

It goes on, but isn't that enough to make you shiver? This is coming from a close and usually rational, Baptist-going family member.

She called me - upset. After we talked she sent back a reply that simply stated she did not want any further emails either religious or political. So far so good. It'll be interesting to see how Christmas goes.

*sigh

I told you so...

2009-11-22T14:57:00.000-08:00

That is a phrase that is very hard NOT to say. Every fiber in my body wants to scream it out loud. But I won't. I may have to write "I won't say I told you so" 1000 times each night, but some how I will not say it.

I stayed away from the Parents abode for most of the week. Yes, it was mainly to establish the fact that I will not be helping out with the puppy. But we went over there this weekend and Lord love a duck but that puppy is going to make my mother's life miserable after the SIL leaves.

Being the person that is the one that always helps, I had to bite my lip numerous times when I found myself on the verge of offering to take the puppy out, or hand the puppy to my mother, or help clean up a piddle spot. But I stood strong. Yes I did. And I even snickered when Mom stepped in an accident. Granted the accident was tiny - the puppy is tiny. But it's going to get bigger, mark my words. *evil grin

But you know, it's proven to me one thing. I've babied my mother in the past two years and I'm going to start not telling her "to go sit down, I'll do so and so", if she's good enough to get a puppy she's good enough to do other things. So this puppy might not be a good thing for Mom but it just might be a good thing for me.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2009-11-09T05:49:00.000-08:00

The Good

Ok, so I'm tired of going after jobs that tell me I'm not worth what I say I'm worth. Or, think they can get me for a song and a dance because I'm unemployed.

So...

I made up some business cards and went to a seminar in Dallas. Where I networked my ass off. I'm now home with not one but two dentists that I'm now doing billing for, plus a contract that I'm about to sign to do some contracting consulting work - about an extra 1500.00 a month.

seminar - 0.00
cards - 10.00
gas - 30.00
room - 69.00
re-employed - priceless

The Bad

My mother is 2 weeks out of hip surgery. My brother "surprises" her with a puppy while I was gone. Have Shitzu, half poodle. I told them I hope they were prepared for SIL to stay until puppy was potty trained because I wasn't taking that on, and I don't see how mom is going to do it. Idjits.

The Ugly (in a cute sort a way)

The puppy. It is cute, but I'm not going to admit it. I'm staying far away until they figure out that Tummy's NOT giving in. As eldest and closest I get the majority of the mom and dad problems - but they've created this one - and I'm not stepping in to fix it this time.

*stretch, groan

2009-11-02T05:40:00.001-08:00

I still haven't been able to get the kinks out from sleeping on a hospital cot for 3 nights. I tried to entice Rob to play Naughty Masseuse lastnight, but he guessed that my nefarious plan was to fall asleep about an hour into it. *grin He did just get back from helping my brother put a new rear-end into his truck, so I'll give him some slack on not falling for it.

Mom has two new hip now - yippee. One thing I've learned over the past few years - be kind to your joints, especially you hips and knees! Although, after going to rehab with her I think I'd rather get a hip than a knee. I felt sorry for all the knee people. Mom was the only hippy in the group, I think they were all envious.

I'm enjoying the cooler non-mowing weather. It gets a little warm during the day and then chilly at night. Makes October my favorite month of the year.

I have a VW Beetle that has that crap called Soft Touch on the doors and dash. Now that she's getting a bit older, those are the areas that's starting to show her age. So I cruised around the web and found that plain old rubbing alcohol will take it off without hurting the plastic underneath. Well that and a LOT of elbow grease. She's slowly starting to look better.

With Mom's surgery and my MIL just having her knee replaced 3 weeks ago I've offered to make all the side dishes for Thanksgiving. We'll take dinner over to my Mom's early in the day and then go over to MIL's late that afternoon. I'm going to try very hard not to get frazzled and stay in a positive place.

Ok - that's about all the rambling thoughts I have right now.

*sigh

2009-10-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

When your having a little morning delight and your hip pops and then you limp for the rest of the day - you know you're old.

Just sayin'.

Just stuff

2009-10-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

1. My company from Texas has H1N1. Poor thing. So I have a "company's coming" clean house with no company coming. Major free time!

2. My mom's village is having a chili cook-off this weekend. She'd originally asked me to make a chili but I declined as Robbin was going to be here. Now that she's not I might do one.

3. I think I'm going to get Rob to go to the Haunted Castle in Muskogee this weekend if it's not raining. I haven't been on a haunted hay-ride in years.

4. I bought Daughtry tickets. Woooo

5. Need to finish organizing garage, but.... if it's pretty I'm going to capitalize on outside funtime as I think this winter is going to be icky.

Errgh

2009-10-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Ya know when you see something you like but decide not to buy it right then and then it stays in your mind? And you think to yourself you'll go back and get it one of these days? Only when you go back to get it, it's no longer there and not able to be ordered? You get that feeling of "errgh". I'm feeling - errgh, right now.

There's this cool iron, hanging candle lantern that I saw at this little shop around the first of the summer. Well, I decided with my birthday money that's what I wanted. So I went yesterday - not there and they don't know who made it. Errgh.

Guess I'll settle for a cd changer in the Beetle. Booorrrring.

Boo - I need you to come to my house....

2009-10-14T12:24:00.000-07:00

for a few days.

This is the weekend of the October birthdays - every year I throw a bbq, or bingo day or croquet tournament in honor of all the October birthdays in the family. My mothers, mine, my twin nieces and my BF's.

This year I'm doing a murder mystery dinner at my house. It's a 48 page print out that I should have done last week! So I need Boo to come and get me organized!

It's "The Assassination at the Annual Superhero Assembly - dress up time! :) I've assigned rolls and figured out I'm going simple with the dinner. Appetizer - bruschetta - people mingle, exchange info from clue sheets, then there's a Superhero dance-off. Dinner - salad and lasagne - exchange info from clue sheets - and guess what Superhero Item I am -play Super Movie clue - then someone dies. Dessert - Breezy's zinger cake and coffee - solve murder.

But there's alot of prep work. Ack! I wasn't taking Friday off, but I am now! I need a list people- where's Boo when you need her!

So yesterday....

2009-10-13T08:36:00.001-07:00

I had to take my mother for her pre-op stuff. She's getting the other hip replaced at the end of this month.

She had to set thru a class - one that she didn't have to for the first one, go figure - that went over what to expect, what the surgery entails and other things. The nurse that was heading the class was a cute thing about in her late 20's or so.

So were in a room full of elderly - I'd say late 60's to 90 year olds - people. And she's going over the pre-op exercises they want everyone to start. She goes over each exercise and then, meaning to say they've had great success post-op with people that have done the exercises she instead says "they've had great sex post-op". Dead silence. Then the oldest man in the room says loudly " WHAT'D SHE SAY!" - the room cracks up. She turns 49 shades of read, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. It was hilarious.

I don't know about everyone else in the room, but I now want that surgery!

Be careful what you wish for....

2009-10-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

You know that old saying, right? It's another way of saying that I'm never satisfied isn't it?

Remember back when Rob was driving over the road and he'd come home every 6 - 8 weeks and I was a big whine bag because of his away time. And then he got off the truck and started a local job here. Monday thru Friday, some weekends. Meaning he was ALWAYS home.

My house seemed to implode after that happened. His guy stuff creeped into a well organized home, I'd walk into the bathroom to find he'd un-earthed a beach towel to use as a bath towel (why? who knows). He wouldn't put things back where they'd been for over a year in the kitchen. *SIGH

And then he got a puppy! I'd forgotten how much work a puppy was. Diesel and I escape to the bedroom some nights to escape Demon Puppy sometimes. We lay there and lament about the good ol' days when I had my house and he had a puppy-free run of the house. We whine.

Well, last Monday he got laid off. Ack! both of us at the same time? Geez.

So yesterday, Rob gets a new job. Which will involve traveling- they'll fly him where he needs to go and he'll be gone at the most 2 weeks and then home for a few days before leaving again.

I'm hoping this is a middle ground to my two whines. :) Diesel - he's just sol.

editing - because I think this should be called a PMS post - I don't usually get mad that when I ask him to pick up a head of cauliflower while he's out and he brings me back the itsyest bitsyest head of cauliflower ever. But I am, I'm mad. *sigh

I've been on a bitchy rant this week, haven't I?

Still Irritated

2009-10-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

I got really peeved lastnight and slept on it and I'm still irritated. Rob says I'm making much ado about nothing - so here's the scenario and you tell me if you'd still be irritated.

Yesterday was my BF's birthday. We always meet her parents and her family for dinner. Invariably her Dad wants to pick up the whole check which I appreciate but would rather pick up our own. Sometimes he one ups me and other times I'm quicker than he.

So lastnight we go to Carrabas - we're the first ones there so I tell our waitress right off the bat that Rob and I are on one ticket. Therefore, I don't have a problem with ordering drinks, getting what I want instead of being cost conscious, ect.

So we eat, have a good time and enjoy our food and friends. Time for the bill comes and she asks how we want it split up, I catch her eye and motion between Rob and I and she nods her head. BF's Dad says he wants it all. So I get busy talking and then notice that "Dad" has a bill and is paying. I motion our waitress over and ask for ours, "oh, I went ahead and put it all on one since he said he wanted it all." WTF! What part of a seperate ticket did she not understand?

I chose not to make a scene, but I wanted to. But what a little twit. Grrr.

Theme song

2009-10-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

I think Fleetwood Mac's Landslide is my theme song -

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love

Can the child within my heart rise above

Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides

Can I handle the season's of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing

'cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

and I'm getting older too

What would your theme song be?

As an added bonus here's some pictures of changes - ok, really I'm just playing with my camera :)

Gunner and Diesel - 2 months ago

Gunner and Diesel - today

Elephant ears - last summer, along with some tomatoes that did nothing

Elephant ears - today. All the rain has given me monster plants!

More time on my hands

2009-09-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

So I re-did the spice cabinet into a magnetic piece of art :) and then moved on to the bathroom. I forgot to take "Before" pic before unloading the room. Oh well. You can see it was a hideous green, the tub hardwear was ok but old brass and it was dark.

I still want to hang a different light fixture but this is a huge improvement. And I love the see-through shower curtain, let's in alot more light.

The color comes off as white in the pics but it's a warm, creamy, butter yellow with copper ceiling and sponging. I had to sponge the bottom as it had many spots where badly executed repairs had happened and the walls showed blemishes. But I didn't want to sponge the whole wall and I don't like straight lines. Was going to do a wavy pattern but that would have taken forever to tape off so this is it.

Next step is getting rid of all the mis-matched towels. Rob's going to be glad when I go back to work so I quit spending money!

Can't wait to take my first Lush bath tonight. I've moved all the towels to the RR luggage rack above the toilet as in pic and the shelf that was holding the towels is getting a cool copper basket filled with candles.

And, yes Boo, the showerhead is now hanging as it should. I had to let it hang for a bit to straighten the kinks. You never notice those things as you're taking the pics. *grin

Tybee Island - Part 3

2009-09-16T07:36:00.001-07:00

Don't ask me why I didn't finish this, because I don't know. I'm here now because Weltek said to blog, so I'm a bloggin'.

Ok, so really by now all I remember is that I had my first 5 Guys burgers and fries in Virginia Beach. Bre and I took off some of her wallpaper. I bought them a firepit for a house warming gift. And the flight back sucked.

But....here's some promised pics.

Tybee Island - Part 2 of the Reunion

2009-06-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

I promise to post pics as soon as the camera gets here :).

Rob took us to the airport. We had to leave the house at 7 - ugh! - but we were excited, because as much as both of us have flown we've never flown together. Check in was a breeze. We flew Continental Express Houston in a teensy plane - 1 seat on one side and 2 on the other. It was a bit cramped so I'm glad I was familiar with my seat partner. Especially as she used my shoulder as a pillow and me her head. That would have been awkward had we not known one another. *grin

Had a 2 1/2 hr layover in Houston so we grab lunch at Chili's (these posts should be sponsored by Chili's!). The next flight was a bigger and more comfortable plane and we landed safely in Savannah. We'd decided as Tybee is only 2 1/2 miles big we wouldn't rent a car as that would make us not run around as much. We always say we're just going to relax and then we wind up running like mad. So we grabbed a cab at the airport - I don't know if all cities are like this but they regulate how much a cab can charge for certain distinations - so it was resonable cabfare and not a shock. And on top of that he was very sociable and took us to where they filmed Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and by Juliet Gordon Low's house (founder of Girl Scouts). And the bench where Forrest Gump sat. We tipped him nicely, though not as nice as Johnny Depp does.

We arrive at our beautiful B&B - but let me ask you if you saw this -

with this sentence " is just steps from the ocean. " wouldn't you think it was right on the beach. It's not. It's got a grass yard - not sand like it looks like in the pic and there's a house in front of it. That was a teensy tinsey let-down but the feeling didn't last long. Patty - the Innkeeper (not the owner - the owner was a scarylady we only saw once) was a jewel. And made the Best Bananas Foster french toast for breakfast! The crabcakes with hollandaise was also to die for.

So we get settled into our room - The Morgan Room -

from the Savannah Beach Inn website
Before staying here I'd always wanted a really tall bed. Not anymore. It's freaking tiring getting in those things! And not that I did this but if you forget that you're really high up and need to get up for a bathroom trip in the middle of the night, it hurts when you fall.

The next day was rainy. Perfectly rainy. We had breakfast - Bananas Foster - and sit out on the porch with fellow B&Bers. One couple had just gotten married. They'd known each other since New Years Day. Another was celebrating their 50th anniversary. Wonder if the first couple will make it that far. There was a young couple from Australia that I loved listening to. That's one of the best thing about B&B's - the meeting of people and the atmosphere. Sooo much better than even a nice hotel.

We took a cab - The Crab Cab - he'd just purchased the business for 25,000.00 and has BIG plans to expand - to The Crab Shack "where the elite eat in bare feet" (another theme - crabs). The Crab Shack was where parts of The Generals Daughter was filmed. John Travolta supposedly loves the place. Reportedly via our cabby/tourist guide - the owner received 700,000.00 to film there and took the money and built from this little crab shack to the massive outdoor restaurant. It has a very cool atmosphere - Jimmy Buffet plays over the speakers in the live oak trees that drip with Spanish moss while misters hanging from the same trees keep everyone cool. The food trays were huge - you sit at these wood tables that have holes cut in the middle so you can just toss the shells as your eating your food.

Afterwards the cab picked us back up and took us for a tour while heading back to the house. By now we've heard numerous times that Miley Cyrus is filming here. So he took us by the church they are building which they're just going to turn around and burn it to the ground. The house she's staying - two blocks down from us. And the pier they are taking over to set up the carnival for the movie. I wonder what they're going to do with the Pier this year during 4th of July as that's where the Island sets off their fireworks. He also took us by Sandra Bullocks place and John "Cougar" Mellencamps places. Very nice. I wonder if they ever need housesitters. :)

We stroll down to the beach and feed the seagulls chips, but it starts raining again. So more porch swings. The B&B puts out cheese and wine at 3 everyday and then makes cookies at 8pm and puts out milk. I missed that when we left!

Friday we were idiots. We got up and had breakfast - oh how I wish I could have talked Patty into coming home with me! - and went to the beach. It was a beautiful and sunny day, damn it!
So we skip down to the beach - with our picnic basket, chairs, towels and water all supplied by Patty. But no sunblock, did we even think about sunblock. Of course not! We have Native American skin. It's been years since I've had a sunburn and I don't think Bre's ever had one. But I used to be a good mom and kept sunblock on her. I'm not such a good mom now. Because 4 hours later I was burnt, she was burnt and we were pooped. I blame it on the Atlantic - it was so balmy and gentle it was way too easy to float along like flotsam and jetsam - in fact I think that should be our nicknames from now on (though I think it's kind of pittiful when someone gives themselves a nickname :) )

We ate dinner at AJ's and had the best hushpuppies and cold beer ever. Then our cabby took us to the Pier and he and I and Bre set up on the park benches and watched them film a bit. The carnival entrance says Tybee Island Seafood Festival - Tybee Island doesn't have a Seafood Festival, but ought to now. Then he took us back to the B&B for cookies and milk where we played clue with our Australian friends and the older couple. I decided that night I could totally live on Tybee Island forever.

Saturday we were leaving for Virginia Beach, so we......had breakfast. The second B is the best part of a B&B! Packed up and took our luggage down to Patty. Our plane wasn't leaving until 3 so we made arrangements with the CrabCabMan Dave to pick us up at 1 and Patty said we could leave our luggage in one of the unused rooms while we strolled some shops and took a walk on the beach on last time.

I was a little melancholy to leave but excited to see Bre's new house.
I do have to say that I realize and appreciate the fact that I have a great relationship with my daughter. I couldn't ask for a better kid and am so thankful she's home. I say a prayer for all the moms and dads every night that has a kid they're worried about - which I guess is every parent, right :).

Next up: Virginia Beach and my first 5 Guys burger

Reunion :) at The 'Quah

2009-06-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

Part One -

We picked Bre up 2 hours later than we were suppose to, delayed flights. So that previous title should have read 7 and one half hours. But it was worth the wait. And yes, I gave her a great big long hug. I didn't cry but I may have sniffled.

She looked so good ( I left my camera in Virginia Beach - Bre's sending it, so as soon as I get it I'll post pics), little on the skinny side but great.

So we did the whole family whirlwind affairs - dinner at my mother-in-laws. She did filets with mushrooms, a cream chive sauce and stuffed mushrooms. All were new recipes she'd seen on the food network and printed off. We were like chickens with our heads cut off as none of us knew any of the recipes. We almost wound up with parsley in the chive sauce and chives in the mushrooms. On top of everything we were doubling all the recipes and we kept forgetting that as we were cooking, so we'd double at the beginning and then forget half way thru then have to go back and add more of something. We now have a new rule - Only one knew recipe per dinner! It did turn out delicious though! And memorable :)

We had a washout with my family on Sunday. It was suppose to be a cook-out and then it poured buckets, so I changed it to a cook-in and started stressing. So I took a deep breathe and told everyone to get their raincoats and we went to Chili's. I drank a margarita and un-stressed. We then went back to the house, broke out the wine and the boardgames. I then proceeded to drink Bre under the table. She may be a war veteran but she "don't" have nuttin' on her mom when it comes to holding her wine. :) She's a very loving drunkey and takes really long showers when she's that way - I was impressed with my water heater.

Monday she and I and Rob just chilled out. We grilled some steaks, went to the movies and just visited. It was a nice quiet day and made me nostalgic for those high school years.

Tuesday we left for Tybee Island. I asked Rob to make sure he watered my basil and strawberries which were doing great - he didn't. Bad Rob.

I'll be back to post about Tybee. It involves Miley Cyrus. You can take that as a good thing or a bad thing.

Five and one half hours

2009-06-11T06:35:00.001-07:00

In five and one half hours I get to hug my daughter. I've not seen her for a year. A very, very long year.

All About The Kid ..previously titled: Change of plans

2009-06-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Bre's not coming in until the 11th. I don't blame her -- Mike leaves on the 11th for 5 weeks of training, so they are wanting to spend as much time together as possible before he leaves. I can understand that especially since they spent so much time apart in the last year.

Mike is staying active attached to the Seals, while Bre has chosen to go Reserves and use the money from the GI Bill to finish her bachelors. She's then going to apply to the Navy's Medical Program to become a Psychologist with the Navy. They both plan on retiring from the Service. Though I don't think Mike will enjoy it if Bre makes him salute her. *grin

I think she'll be going to Norfolk State U or Virginia Wesleyan College. You don't know how much I'll enjoy being a Mom to a college kid. She can combine her 1 week a month for the Reserves into a month long summer stint because of her rate.

She and Mike just bought a house. They basically did it over the internet and phone with a relator and a friend. So when they arrived in VA all they had to do was closing. I can't imagine doing something this big, in that way. *shakes head But they are happy and I am proud of them both.

She did splurge on a new tv. A 52" Sony flat. I hope her livingroom is big enough!

So after the trip to Tybee Island we are headed to Virginia Beach. I'm going to pick up some perennials for a house warming gift and we're going to shop for paint. I told both of them they were going to start getting power tools and stuff like that for birthdays and Christmas. Hey, if you're going to be a home owner you got have that stuff, right?

Stuff ending in "ing"

2009-05-28T05:58:00.001-07:00

Swings - (ok Boo, I know this one has an "s" on it also) I received two of those hammock swings as a gift. Rob recently put them up for me, hanging between to trees. They are now one of my favorite places to eat lunch. The only problem is I don't want to go back inside.
.
Mowing - It's been raining here so much recently I think I'm going to have to hire a herd of goats to eat down the lawn before attempting it.

Weeding - All this rain has done wonders for my garden and even more so for the weeds.

Meditating - I love this time of year. It's a toss up between now and Fall as to my favorite. I get up extra early, fix a cup of tea and just go out and chill on the deck swing for about 1/2 an hour every morning.

Discomboobalated

2009-05-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

Man - I've been back from Texas for 5 days now and just can't get it together. I still haven't unpacked, I haven't really visited here since being back, I don't want to do much except lay around.

Granted the heat wiped me out - I got on the plane in Tulsa in 70/80 degree weather and off the plane in San Antonio in 103 degree weather. And the humidity - gah! But it's not like I was camping out - I was at the Hyatt on the Riverwalk for goodness sakes. Great pillows, good bed. I should be refreshed and energized.

Yet 10 minutes after getting out of bed I want to crawl back in. And I had to make myself come here and post.

Anywhoos, it's a long weekend this weekend, so hopefully I'll bounce back then.

I can't believe

2009-04-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been over a year since I joined blogland. So in honor of my missed anniversary around these here parts, if you're here and you see your name over on the left hand side of this page: Go straight to your blog and update.

ne caveat - say something nice about me. :) <--you don't really have to do that! Really.

Tour of Duty - OVER!

2009-04-29T05:36:00.000-07:00

As Boo so eloquently put it: "She's outta there." Yay - and I couldn't be happier.

The following youtube made me laugh out loud when she sent it. She told me when they moved her from the small, yucky base to Prosperity this was the biggest thrill she'd had in months.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23SsUvlc4Rs

Chuck and Subway

2009-04-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've never participated in a campaign to save a show, but I think I can handle doing this. So Monday night I'm buying 2 foot long chicken teriyaki Subway sandwiches and settling down to watch what I hope is just the season finale of Chuck and not the series finale. *whimper

I've posted on OT my Chucklove many times and was shocked to find that this show is on the verge of cancellation. *kicks NBC Hatefully bastards, how can they even think of taking my Casey away!

So if you love me you'll buy a Subway sandwich Monday night and watch Chuck :).

The Fine Art of Roasting Marshmallows

2009-04-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

Or...How Not to Burn Your Freaking Tongue

This past weekend the weather did not cooperate - if one was expecting to come back with the beginnings of a tan. But for some odd reason rainy days at Little Sahara was just what I needed. There's something about camping in rainy weather that slows everything down. At least it did for me.

We made a big bonfire Saturday night after a day of slipping and sliding around the dunes. Grilled some steaks, omg these steaks were awesome. We brought a huge tenderloin and cut the steaks and grilled them with some onions. To die for. Anyway, much beer and wine was consumed that night and the bags of marshmallows were brought out. Along with the graham crackers and the Hershey bars - ick. I like my roasted marshmallows straight up. Thankyouverymuch.

Talk evolved to what constituted the perfectly roasted marshmallow. As I've stated elsewhere I'm a hick. Therefore I like mine burnt. Not a little burnt. I'm talking chared, blackened,blow the fire out, crispy on the outside, ooeygooey on the in. In fact I've been know to burn it, pull off the burnt, eat the burnt, burn what's left on the stick, rinse and repeat until there's nothing left.

For the snobs around the campfire, they liked to gently and timidly toast theirs to a golden orb and then delicately take it off the stick and nibble. Ha! I could eat 6 to everyone of theirs. :) Of course by the end of the night we were trying to knock each others 'mallows off the sticks and yelling "Burn in hell you yummy globs of goodness".

And for the snobs amongst you, a nice moscato goes very well with roasted marshmallows.

Yes, I am a Hick!

2009-04-13T06:47:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a hick - I am an All-American, redneck, beer-loving Hick-a-billy.

And here is my proof - This coming weekend I am going 4-wheeling over at Little Sahara during Rattlesnake Roundup Week and I am looking forward to it with excitement.

And yes, I will be wearing a helmet while out hoping and sliding around the dunes.

I may have sand in places that should never see sand but I will be smiling while trying to wash it out.

Easter Menu

2009-04-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

I am obviously all about food lately! And not in a healthy way :) But ce la vie, or something like that.

I'm having Easter at my house, only I've changed the day from Easter Sunday to Easter Saturday as the weather is going to be beautiful on Saturday and Thunderstormy on Sunday. As croquet is an integral part of Easter than I need beautiful weather. And really, who's to say Jesus didn't rise on a Saturday!

So here's my menu for Easter Saturday:
proscuitto and basil pinwheels with mascarpone cheese - making these Friday
pear, gorganzola, walnut salad with red wine vinagrette
spiral ham with brown sugar mustard rub
purple potato salad - sil is making
cowboy beans - a friend is bringing - and really I don't know the difference between regular baked beans and cowboy beans
corn on the cob - Mom is bringing
hot rolls with honey basil butter - rolls I'm buying from the freezer section :), butter is easyschmeasy to make
Breezy's Zinger cake

Ok - I'm hungry. Have been hungry for days! And it's not like I'm not eating.

I love all things Easter - as a questioning Christian there's a feeling of renewal about Easter, and who doesn't love bunnies and colored eggs!

Happy Easter Saturday, everyone :)

Mondays Menu

2009-04-06T09:06:00.001-07:00

Ok - so from the last post you know that I have a well stocked kitchen. I shouldn't have problems putting a menu for dinner together, right? The problem is that I have too much stuff :) I can't decide what to put with what.

So I'm going eclectic for tonight. I've got some teryaki chicken going in the crock, I think I'm going to make a BLT salad with Blue cheese dresssing and some sweet potato fries or maybe chips. I think the fries will be easier. I usually just cut them into "skinny" fries, zap them in the microwave so they crisp up a bit better in the oven, toss them in olive oil and bake them.

Here's a spice mix recipe that's yummy on them:1/4 tsp smoked Paprika, 1/4 tsp Chili Powder, 1/4 tsp Red Pepper Flakes and 1/4 tsp SaltBlack Pepper. Put it on as soon as they come out of the oven.

Can you tell I'm hungry today :)

Observations

2009-03-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

So the thing that I thought might happen happened. Rob is now looking for another job, but it's all good. He'll find something, I just don't want him going over the road again unless it's absolutely neccessary.

So here's the thing - I asked him to go grocery shopping for me since he has a little more free time than I do right now. OMG, what was I thinking.

You know, I should have been prepared. I remember his place when he was a bachelor. He was THE GUY that waited until the only items left in his fridge were half a lemon and something turning green. Then he'd go grocery shopping. He'd buy everything that looked even vaguely good. By the time he reached the checkout counter his cart was packed higher than a mom's cart with ten kids. Of course, that didn't stop him from trying to go to the 20-items-or-less lane.

I don't have anywhere to put this stuff! What 40-something year old buys Bugles and Funyons for crying out loud. Why do I want to go into giggle fits when I ask where my Bare Naked cereal is and he says the Count Chocula looked better? Do we really need 4 boxes of strawberry frozen fruit bars (though I do admit those are yummy, but 4?!) Since when did we start eating olives with garlic stuff in them?! I didn't even know they still made Pickleloaf! Ewwww.

I could go on and on... oh, believe me I could go on.

*sigh I do love him though and the teenage boy still trapped inside that he lets out to play everyonceinawhile. :)

Just Stuff

2009-03-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

1. My Dad starts radiation today, which I think is ridiculous. He's in such bad health otherwise that the Doctor told him he'll die of something else before the prostate cancer catches him. He has no symptoms, so why put yourself thru the side effects of radiation?

2. My sister lost her job so she's going back to teaching. The sugar daddy is going to support her for the summer. Poor thing was so upset that he sent her to Vail for a week so she could de-stress. Yeah, I'm a little jealous, but I wouldn't choose that lifestyle. :)

3. Rob's looking for another job, the company he went to work for isn't having the jobs come in like they thought they would so there's talk of lay-off or part-time.

4. I have a week long work trip to San Antonio coming up in May that I'm looking forward to, the only bad thing is I'm going to miss my niece graduating from RN school. :(

5. Bre comes home in a little over a month. Yay!

Freedom, sing it with me :)

2009-03-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

This week the bosses are away, so while I will probably <---see that probably *grin work a full week I can do it whenever I want.

So I worked some Sunday night late, and then I started at 5 am yesterday and pulled a 11 hour day. Today I worked not at all as it was 81 degrees and beautiful, I played in the garden beds most of the day. Tomorrow I think I will get up early again and work until 9ish and then play in the yard some more and then work again during the night.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday I plan on not working at all.

I think it should be like this every week!

I also think that people that get to set their own schedules like this all the time are very, very lucky.

If your happy and you know it clap your hands

2009-03-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

*clap, clap, clap

So many reasons to be happy..

1. Bre comes home the end of next month
1a. Mike will already be there and is picking her up, has reserved a room in Honolulu and the next day taking her on an inter-island cruise. He's got me searching for diamond earring to give her for her belated birthday gift. Hence reason 1a, I love my kid's guy.

2. It's daylight savings time and even though it's only March, DST makes it seem like winter is behind us.

3. My fruit trees are in bloom, as are my forsynthia, daffodils and crocus. My weeping cherry looks like a firecracker exploded in pink. :)
3a. This makes the trainwreck that is still my yard from the icestorm not look like such a wreck.

4. Rob has a local job now, which means I get a normal life again. Yay!
4a. Though we are still in re-housebreaking mode there is improvement.

5. Kay laid an egg, so there are many wasted hours of egg-watching and hopefully baby red-tail hawk watching in my future.

6. I spent the weekend messing around with Maverick - my horse- as the weather warms his demeanor and movement improves making me hopefully he has one more good Spring and Summer and Autumn to enjoy. I know I probably should have made The Decision last winter, but it's hard. One more Springtime for Maverick makes me happy, though I'll know all summer that That Time is looming.

It's Good to be Home

2009-02-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

Things I missed.....Rob, Diesel, my bed (I took my pillow though) and down comforter, my comfy threadbare pj's, my morning tea, my office chair, my tv programs. I'm sure there's more but these are the things that come to mind.

The trip was good. And things went really well with my friend that lost her son, well as really well as can be expected. She and I and another friend spent 4 evenings together with tears but also laughter. It was emotional and draining but also fulfilling and cathartic. And I'm telling you right now if you sense something's off make them talk to you even if you feel like you're picking at a scab they'd rather have left alone. And hug your kids today and tell them they are loved.

While I was gone Rob built me two shelves I'd been hinting that I wanted. One was to get my microwave up off the cabinet. It's great and I feel like I have an acre more countertop! The other is in the living room, up over the windows. I have some breakables I'd like up and away from people, plus this last Christmas I realized I have nothing to hang stockings from. Now I do :).

He also worked his butt off getting alot of these downed trees chainsawed and piled up. We still have alot more and alot of fencing to fix but at least it was a start.

I ate at some awesome places down in Dripping and got on the Wii Fit this morning to find I had gained two pounds. Ugh. I'm starting Weight Watchers this week, I need structure, so I'm biting the bullet. Wish me strength *sigh.

Oh, and I Juvedermed my lips. So once again.....Kiss me! :) I just did it a little. Now that the swelling has gone down they're not bad, though I have a bruise that makes me look like I have a Hitler mustache. Not sure if I would do it again, but since it was free the temptation to see was too great.

Why...

2009-02-11T06:52:00.000-08:00

One of the women I really like at the clinic lost her son last week. She and I bonded over the fact that both of our only kids were military. She hasn't been able to talk about what happened but he committed suicide. She is understandably devastated and I can't even begin to imagine the pain. I don't even want to try.

She and her son had a close relationship, and she thought they talked openly and there were no secrets. Much like I have with Bre. I just wanted to hug Bre when I heard the news.

He was a year younger than Bre and was about to be deployed again to Afghanistan.

My heart breaks for her.

I talked to Bre and emphasized that no matter what she was going thru there was always help to be found and I would always be there for her. It's scary to think that your kid could feel like there was something they just couldn't deal with and wouldn't or couldn't reach out to you.

And then yesterday I took my father over to the VA hospital. He went on up to his floor while I tried to find a parking place, so I was waiting for the elevator which are as slow as molasses, and caught movement out of the side of my eye. I turned and there was a young man in a wheelchair with both legs missing trying to grab the door handle to open the door. My elevator door opened and people walked in, I told them to go ahead, I walked over and opened the door for him. I told him "they don't make these things easy, do they" he finally met my eyes and and responded with "and I thought Iraq was hard". I grinned at him but really I wanted to cry.

While I was there I saw 7, yes I counted, young men that were either in wheelchairs or had already gotten their prothesis. The guy I sat next to in the waiting room had an eye patch, we chatted for a bit. He had let his hair grow and I noticed he kept swinging his head forward, I assumed so his bangs would help hide the patch. I leaned toward him and said quietly "you know the patch isn't bad, reminds me of Jack Sparrow in a manly kind of way". He laughed and said he was going to use that one with his girlfriend.

If you ever want to see true courage go visit a VA hospital for a day.

Tired, pooped, bushed, weary, spent and haggard

2009-01-31T13:21:00.000-08:00

That pretty much sums me up right now.

Family Medicine

2009-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

My mother goes in to have a total hip replacement this Friday - she wasn't scheduled until June but the Dr had a cancellation so she got moved up. Yay! Also, we had to agree that one of us would stay with her and perform nurse aide duties until she's discharged as she will be on an understaffed floor. If no one could have stayed she would have had to wait until this summer. *sigh I'm glad both of my nieces are going to be nurses - less than 1 semester until they're both done. Yay.

I'll stay up at the hospital with her until she's released, hopefully Monday. From there she goes to my brother's house (heehee) for three weeks. I "get" to take care of her cats. I think I got the better end of the deal. *grin Not that I don't love my mother but she's a big whinebag where any and I do mean any amount of pain is involved.

While she's gone I take my dad over to the VA hospital for a consult on his prostrate cancer. His PSA test came back bad so he had a biopsy done week before last and it came back cancerous. *sigh Personally, I'm not even sure why he had the biopsy done. I've posted before that he smokes heavily, eats horribly for an insulin dependent diabetic and has about a 28% heart function. *shrug

The Tulsa Home and Garden show is in town this weekend. Do you think anyone will notice if I sneak out from the hospital and go?

44

2009-01-20T07:26:00.000-08:00

I think I can now relate to how my parents generation felt when JFK was sworn in. I have a feeling of hope, inspiration, lightness. Something else that struck me today - none of these feelings come from the fact I'm watching a black man become President of the United States. Obama has become colorless to me.

I wrote quite a bit about my dislike of the Bush Administration here but decided to delete all of that and keep this on a more positive note.

I agree with what Boo wrote Over There. I think Obama has that something that gives people hope and makes them want to do better. I also think he's a very intelligent man and is not going to surround himself with Yes Men.

I personally would not want to have his job. But I pray that he does the best he can and makes the right decisions in the years to come.

And - I'll say it now. Will Smith will play Obama in a future movie. *grin

My baby is 23 - Ack!

2009-01-15T05:41:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but compare our lives at 23. She definitely didn't follow my path.

I was 3 months into My 23rd year when I became a new mom. I was living in North Carolina and my marriage was very rocky by then, but when they laid her on my chest my whole world changed. My heart melted and I'd never seen anything as beautiful as that little monkey-looking thing lying in my arms.

I had worked the day before - I was managing a pet boarding house and Wednesday was my day off. I woke up feeling not quite right, so I called my Dr and they told me he was at the hospital, if I didn't feel better later than to call back. March 1st was my due date. So I took a shower, washed my hair and shaved my legs, thinking that would make me feel better. It didn't, so I drove to the emergency room where they checked me and said I was fine, I had another 5 weeks, go home and get some rest.

So I went to the little greek restaraunt I always went to and got some banana pudding. The owner made his usual fuss over me and I went home. A few hours later I was feeling worse, my head ached, my shoulders and legs hurt and my back was starting to kill me. So I called my ob again, he was there and said to come in. I got there, they took me back, he sent me behind the curtain to change into a gown and bam! my water broke.

He and the nurse drove me over to the hospital wrapped in a sheet :) it was buttass cold out! We got there, he checked me said everything was fine and he was going to go grab something to eat. The nurse had called my ex and he showed up, he had called his family and they showed up. (My parents were not planning to come out until March *sigh) Everyone was settling in for what they thought was going to be a long night.

I still hadn't had what I expected labor pains to feel like but all of a sudden I had this overwhelming urge to push. The nurse told D. that he was to make sure I was breathing because if I was breathing then I couldn't push. I was busy trying to figure out how to trick D. into thinking I was breathing and pushing when bam again, there was no stopping me pushing. The nurse was grabbing Bre as the Dr walked back into the room. 6:57 pm Wednesday January 15 1986 Charlotte North Carolina - my life changed forever.

Twenty-three years later and she still melts my heart! In 5th grade she said she wanted to be a sailor in the Navy....or....a dolphin trainer :). At 17 she signed up for the Delayed Entry Program and hasn't looked back. She knows what she wants and goes after it. She's the best thing I've ever had a part of.

This Is The Pits

2009-01-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok - ya'll know Rob is home right now. At least until the start of Feb if not longer. And you know I usually only get to see him once every 4 - 6 weeks.

So....I'm taking advantage of him while he's home for so long. And by advantage, I mean "advantage" *insert lascivious eyewaggle here

I've deleted this next part and re-written numerous times because this is funny but I don't want anyone to go "TMI, TMI!" so here goes......while being frisky (NOT Frisque!) he rubs my armpits! I'm thinking "what the hell! I shaved!", so lastnight, after a few of these armpit rubbing sessions, I can't take it any longer. I'm say "Stop! What in the hell are you doing? Do you suddenly have a pit fettish that I need to be aware of? I freaking shave, ok and I use deodorant! Maybe not on Sundays, but still...... (the shaving part, not the deodorant part)"

So here's the story - he was listening to a station on satellite, probably Maxim or Stern, who knows. And some woman on there said that the pits was an erogenous zone for women. So he, my loving, goofy, doof of a husband, gets it in his mind that this is something I must have been wanting my whole adult life. Someone to stroke my pits, yeah that's what's been missing from my life! Not!

So ladies and men, if you're partner starts doing something that is wigging you out, just stop and ask. It's probably something as simple as some dorcas on a talk show giving bad advice!

A Man Who Cries is Sexy

2009-01-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

I don't care what anyone says, a man that is comfortable enough in his own skin to cry during a movie turns me on. *grin

We went to see Marley and Me lastnight. Tears are streaming down my face because I don't want Rob to know how hard I'm crying so I don't wipe them away. It wouldn't do any good anyway, as I have many that would just take their place.

I notice Rob's hand is holding mine a little tighter and then his knee starts bouncing. When Rob gets emotional he becomes a knee bouncer. I always kid him that, that is his "tell". So I surreptitiously look over and "awwww" Rob's got tears glittering in his eyes. And then one falls over his lashes and slowly treks down his cheek. He doesn't see me looking, but raises our hands and without thought brushes it away. I now have a tear resting on my knuckle and a melted heart. *sigh

Loved the movie. Had a great New Year with a good party to boot. Hope everyone else did too! I'll probably be back to post about the Great Partini New Year's party of 2009 :) later. We're leaving for Springfield now so I've got to get my behind in gear.

Bug Love

2008-12-24T05:13:00.000-08:00

I had the best phone call ever. Our very own Buggy called and made my day, heck - I think she single-handedly made my month :)

I was at my parents this weekend celebrating my Dad's birthday. I get really crappy reception out there so I usually don't answer my phone while there. When I got home I checked my messages and there was this really garbled one that said "tum@#$ this is bu#%#%@ and that was about all I could understand.

It took me a few days of replaying it to think of who it could be, so taking a chance I sent Buggy a pm. Thinking if it wasn't her I would be considered a world class stalker or something.

So I get a call lastnight and it was our very own Buggy! *does happy dance
I have to admit I've had an OT girl-crush on Buggy forever and a day. *grin Anyway, we had a fun conversation while she was wrapping presents. She called back a few seconds after hanging up to say all of those presents she had wrapped while talking, she had put to: herself on the gift tag. *snort

I haven't laughed a real laugh all week until lastnight. Thanks Bug!

PG-13?

2008-12-20T07:48:00.000-08:00

When does a movie move past PG-13 to R rated?

How much sexual content moves it to that point? Or is it a heated political scene that nudges it towards the abyss.

Or simple too many of the f-bombs being dropped.

Or it could be just that it's viewed more than 225 times and the Motion Picture Association is just worried that it's going to go R without them realizing it.

And did you know that they are keeping track of your viewing habits and you're on a list. Kind of like the communist list back in the day I guess.

I think the Motion Picture Association needs to lighten up a little.

Salsa Dancing

2008-12-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

I'm heading into Tulsa to spend the weekend with my bestfriend to shop and take our first salsa dance class. I'll let you know if I wind up in traction in some hospital somewhere.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Update: Ok, we went. Hooyaaaa. Where to start.......the instructor looked like Ricardo Montlban, well he did if you squished your eyes and made your vision go blurry. But his accent was spot on. Quite yummy.

I refused to wear a dress but did put on heals. Ouch, ouch and double ouch. I have blisters on my little toes. And I have really high arches and most heals arches suck unless you pay big bucks. Which I don't.

My calves had spasms that night. Good grief, what was I thinking!

I was thinking......Hell, yeah! We had more fun and laughed more than I can ever remember. For every blister, bump, bruise, ache or pain there is a good memory associated with it.

Was I any good? Well, let's put it this way. I can confidently say that I am better than Cloris Leachman *grin and my dance partner did not have to go to the hospital for foot surgery the next day. Other than that it's up in the air about how good.

I would definitely salsa again. With or without chips!

Lemming

2008-12-09T14:03:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not one that falls in with the crowd, I like dancing to the beat of my own drum.

Only this time around I'm going to be a lemming. After seeing Australia not once but twice within a week's span I am thoroughly smitten with Hugh Jackman. If I were stranded on a desert island I would pick him to be my Sawyer, yep even over Sawyer. Though I still do find Sawyer swoon worthy.

I'm not sure if it was the bathing scene or the ball scene or both plus the accent that finally pushed me into being a raving Jackmanite and it really doesn't matter. It just matters that I am and I don't care who knows it :)

I'm sorry Depp, I'm sorry McConaughey, I'm sorry Holloway but you three must move down the list because Jackman's just moved to the top. *swoon

Aftermath

2008-12-01T09:26:00.000-08:00

Well, after hitting post before I actually said anything I'll try this again.

I hope everyone had a nice, relaxing weekend.

I had a housefull. Rob, my sister, twin nieces, brother and sil all have been here since Wed night. My house is a tiny little two bedroom cabin, with one little bathroom. This weekend was an adventure, especially when we broke out the beer and wine :)

We cooked and ate and played games. We discussed politics without screaming ( my Mom and Dad and a couple of our friends came over Saturday to eat and play games - we were discussing politics and Obama's win and he said that something I said to him over the summer made him take another look at Obama and reassess him. That made me happy)

Funniest moment - we were playing Beyond Balderdash and the answer was July 18th, 1980. My mother wrote "The day the Fourth of July was celebrated that year because of rain." I laughed so hard, but I think it was just one of those silly moments because nobody else thought it was quite that funny.

I made a carrot cake, first ever from scratch, with pineapple and nuts and coconut. My sil brought one (we didn't know each other was doing a carrot cake) with raisins. If you smooshed them both together they were fabulous. :) My brussel sprouts were a hit, btw.

Bre called, their showers are broken and they had just finished eating...and I quote...."some pressed turkey with jelly gravy, cold green beans something congealed on top, instant cold mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie which she hates and gave to Jimmy." That child is going to shrivel up and blow away. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was about to cut into a slice of carmeled apple pie. She did get her package from me that day though and shared her hot cocoa mix, said it was a hit so I will be sending more.

Mike's grandmother passed away a few days before Thanksgiving, he's torn up about not being able to be there. I called his mom, she's having a harder time than I am with this deployment. I feel bad for her. She wants him to get out, while I think once they're done with Iraq I'd like Bre to stay in. Right now she's thinking she's going to go Reserves and finish college then go back to full time as an officer. Her time in will still count towards retirement so she would be 40 and eligible for retirement. But it's their call.

Rob just left a little while ago, so my house has gone from full and rambunctous to quiet and lonely :(

Three more weeks and his lease will be finished. Yay. Hopefully the lease payout is what we expect and he can take some time finding a job or a company where he's home more.

Homebodies

2008-11-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

This weekend was my first planned me weekend in a while. Lately I've spent weekends with mother-in-law, mom and friends, friends and sister, ect. This past weekend I had planned on seeing no one and going nowhere.

Guess what. Wrong. My sister calls and says "hey, what are you doing this weekend." Me: "Absolutely, nothing. I'm staying at home, cleaning and baking. Deep cleaning and lots of baking." Her: "oh, good. I'm going to come over and help you bake and clean". Me: a silent groan. I use to be so good at saying No, ask Bre. Now, I'm a total wimp.

So Kel comes over Friday night and we go to Chili's, where I have the Shanghai-lite wings and a Chambord margarita. After 2 margaritas I'm not up to baking so we come home and watch PS I love you. Again.

Mom calls the next morning, finds out Kel is here and says she's taking us to lunch. Sigh :) So I have lunch with the sister and the mother and we, yes I take on the responsibility that it was my decision also, decide to go see Twilight. Yum. Totally satisfied with that movie.

I scored on talking them into taking me home while they went to Wal-Mart :) Gave Kel my list *evil grin and started deep cleaning my bedroom. I cleaned out my closet, dusted every nook and cranny, swept, mopped and then mopped again with Orangewhatever. Went thru dresser drawers and bagged stuff I haven't worn in forever, ect. I got the whole room done before Kel got back, that's how much shopping I gave her.

So we get the car unloaded and stuff put away and I'm still in a cleaning mood. Which puts Kel in a cleaning mood. We put INXS, Matchbox 20, OAR, Aerosmith and Garth Brooks in the cd player and shake the walls. Poor Diesel thought a tornado was coming. By the time Garth had sung his last song and we had polished off a bottle of moscato my house was clean, we were tired and it felt good.

My house was clean if you just didn't pay attention. I don't live in clutter, but if you stopped the ceiling fans from spinning....ack! So now I'm happy, all those little places shine as bright as the whole :)

Our baking on the other hand didn't go so well. I baked cookies, that I am not sending to my cookies swap peeps. They are just not....I don't know, they're just not. I'm trying others today.
Kelley's pumpkin gingerbread cake is as heavy as a stone. And we forgot bourbon for the bourban cake and rum for the rum balls. *sigh

Anyway, I have to go to the liquor store today and back to the grocery store. Ick.
Hope everyone's weekend was productive or at least restful.

PS I unlocked the freaking yogo pose where you stand on tiptoes and then go into a squat. Ack!

Just under the surface

2008-11-19T12:14:00.001-08:00

I just got a call from Family Support out of Bre's base in HI. This woman was very nice, but she took forever verifying who I was, so by the time she got thru my whole insides was wound taunt. All I knew for the first few minutes, which seemed an eternity was her name was Teresa from Navy Family Services and she was calling about Bre.

Basically, what she called for was to find out if anyone had contacted me about info on Bre's deployment, if anyone's been in contact with me, if she could send me a pamphlet explaining different things, could she get my email to update me on things, would I like her phone number in case I had questions.

While all of that's all good and well, I wanted to scream at her. Bre's been gone since September and a call like this out of nowhere didn't do my heart any good at all. Especially, since she wouldn't say what the call was about until I verified I was who I said I was when I answered my own phone.

I held it together and even acted normal thru the entire conversation. But as soon as we ended, I shook and cried. Again.

Damn it to hell, I think I have it all together and under control and then one stupid well-meaning but freaking scary phone call and I'm in pieces. Again. I hate this.

Quick! Kiss me!

2008-11-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

I've got a lovely bunch of mistletoe, right outside my door. The only problem is, is that it's like 40 feet up in the air.

I want it. I like mistletoe. It makes me warm and fuzzy. Probably because it gave me a good excuse to kiss all the cute boys when I was a tween :)

But to this day I still love dragging that unsuspecting man - Rob - under a bunch of mistletoe and laying one on him, for no good reason except that were standing under the kissing plant. *grin

Correct mistletoe etiquette for the etiquette-minded -

The correct mistletoe etiquette is for the man to remove one berry when he kisses a woman. When all the berries are gone, there's no more kissing permitted underneath that plant. Bet you didn't know that :)

Here's a good link to know more: http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/history/mistletoe.htm.

But regardless of history or meaning, I just like kissing. I like kissing friends on the cheek, babies on the head, cute guys on the ...oops, Rob anywhere I can. It's not that I need a reason to kiss, I just like the frivolity of it.

So look up, see that bunch of mistletoe........SMOOCH! Gotcha :)

WooHoo - I'm not middle age!

2008-11-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

My bestfriend Lori, in the pic with her daughter Ashley, came over Saturday. We shopped, and drank coffee and ate pie. Then we decided we needed either 1) a nap or 2) to Wii some of that pie off. After deciding 1) fit way better into our weekend, we'd snuggled onto our respective couches with throws and pillows and PS I love you playing on the tv. I'm just drifting off, when my phone rings. It's my sister, Kelley....to make a long conversation short, somehow I invited her up and told her we'd go out. So now I have two divorcees on my hands and a promise of drinking. OMG I'm a gluten for punishment :)

The pie has long left our bodies by the time Kel shows, so we decide to go to Chili's to have some appetizers and drinks, first. I'm thinking "first?", that's usually my first, middle and last!

Lori's a lightweight and halfway thru her first beer we're talking about the frustrations of being single, ifyouknowwhatimean. Ok, we're in the bar part, but Lori's loud and I don't think Chili's patrons found our loud laughter and the word orgasm particularly appetizing. Our waitress did love us though, college girls are easily amused *grin

I had beer at home, but they both wanted to go to the bar. Ok, we do have bars, but one in particular I do like, it reminds me of the bar in Cheers, you know the Cheers bar in Cheers. So we go. I'm driving the Mini Coop *grin as I'm the only one not tipsy. So as driver I decide to put the top down. Mind you, it's freaking cold out, but I'm smaht, I've got the heater on high *grin again.

It's kind of quiet in the bar, but thankfully a couple of the guys from the hospital that I've helped out on a couple of projects were there. I think they took pity on me and helped babysit. We played shuffleboard, had some laughs and the girls got some safe male attention.

On the way home, they wanted to go dancing. I lied and told them we had no dancing clubs around. Ok, maybe that was a copout but first off I didn't want to go, second they were drunk and it was easier to lie and third....I'm married..I don't do what I wouldn't want Rob to do, and if all of a sudden all of the guys he pals around with were single and searching I wouldn't want him going clubbing. Would you feel the same way? I pondered that lastnight. I would feel comfortable and have if he's just going out to drink a beer or two with friends, but I wouldn't want him clubbing with those friends. Give me your take.

So yesterday, we slept late and then went out and had breakfast. Holy heck, you'd think we were linebackers. Our table was so laden with food I thought it was going to break! It was goooood. :) I got help with some yardwork, heeheeheehee and we had good coffee and conversation on the deck. The weather was great. And Kelley set Lori up a myspace page, but the dork left her myspace page up and signed in on my computer when she left to go home.

So.....as the "evil" big sister I changed all of her preferences :) I changed her music to classical, her tagline to "I like to suck on hairy, old men toes", I embedded "my sister is way prettier and funnier than me" into her general blurb, her tv shows to Barney and PowerRangers and books to "I've graduated from picture books to chapter books, I particularly like the 3rd grade reader". Snort Oh, her heroes. Changed to "my sister, because she's so funny!". I got a call at 11:30 lastnight, I couldn't answer because I was laughing so hard. I was also called a "little turd". Ha!

Anyway, it was a good weekend. And as we had a "girls night out" I proclaim myself NOT Middle Age! Yay, me.

Girls Day Out

2008-11-11T06:30:00.000-08:00

http://66.39.108.203/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/rtvw2/community/dcboard.cgi

Saturday was girls day out, you know you've hit middle age when girls night out changes to girls day out *grin, anyway - my mother, sister, friend and I went shopping and eating on Saturday. We went on the pretense of shopping for Bre, which we did, but I think the majority just needed girls time. I know I did.

My sister came up Friday night, I think having a married boyfriend has put a damper on her weekends and I'm becoming her relief from boredom,.....ok, I'm going to digress here for a moment....why is it with some people I'm more forgiving than others? I tell her to her face that I don't agree with what's she's doing and try to put it into perspective for her (that's like hitting concrete) but I also laugh at some of her stories and am a bit jealous he's taking her on an African safari in January. *sigh ..... anyway we were picked up by mom-who needs a hip replacement and friend - who recently had a knee replacement (she's only 50), Kel and I joked we were the nurse aids. Went to the nearest mall - 30 miles away and got them electric carts. I was jealous, I want an electric cart to go mall shopping! I thought my mother was going to have a few lawsuits on her hands before the day was over - she's not so good on the electric cart backing thing!

We bought a bunch of cool things to send to Bre, partially thanks to Puffy and our night googling things like camel spiders and mantyhose and stuff, (oh and Puffy - Bre got her Puffy package, she's either emailing you or has already done so- *smooch) and then ate, my tearoom suggestion got shot down, so we wound up at IHOP where it took an hour and a half just to get our food. Hey, it wasn't my idea. Went to a movie and then headed home. Kelley and I played Wii all night and Wii Fit and drank margaritas. I'm overweight and she's tiny and I still kicked her ass. Ha! I told Mike and Bre when they get home I'm going to kick their Wii asses too :)

I spent Sunday over at mom's raking and burning leaves - Geez I was sore yesterday! This past weekend was suppose to be my holiday cleaning weekend, but as you can see I blew that off. So last night I started moving furniture and cleaning and putting away the things I put away to make room for Christmas decorations. I'm thinking about decorating before Thanksgiving this year. Is that weird?

Happiness and Unhappiness

2008-11-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

I went to bed last night with a skip in my step and a smile on my face. I was so happy and pleased with my country lastnight. The fact that we got past the issue of race to elect to the Presidency a man of color that I pray will lead this country back to goodness. I couldn't quit grinning, I thought.....we've done good.

And then this morning I wake up to news that Prop 8 in California might pass and realized there's still alot of tarnishment on the shine that an Obama win put back on my view of the USA. I know African-Americans have been fighting for equality in the open for longer than gay and lesbians, but I hope we don't stand on the sidelines and watch this struggle for as long as we have with African Americans.

I watched one black soldier that was interviewed this morning and with tears in his eyes he said he can now believe that America believes that all men are created equal. I think....not yet. But hopefully soon.

Purchases

2008-10-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

I am not a shopper, or maybe it's that I'm not a buyer. I will ohhhh and ahhhh over something, carry it around with me and then put it back before we get to check out. I have always been that way. But sometimes I get into a splurging mode, usually it happens around this time of year, I think it's because of my birthday. So far this month, we (mainly I) have purchased:

Wii and Wii Fit - Rob bought this but it was for me
A duvet cover - it's scrumptious, chocolate brown stripe on stripe 1200 tc - I justify the cost as it will save money in the long run not having to take the down comforter into the dry cleaners
1200 tc sheets- Hey they gave me 10.00 off since I bought the duvet cover - again chocolate stripe on stripe
Fiesta chili bowls - multi colored, love them
Lush - gift card so that shouldn't count
A bunch of stuff for Bre - I should get to take that off my taxes as a donation to the US Services, right? :)
And a black leather shag rug - can't wait until it gets here
oh and 3 wool sweaters for Rob - I had to throw him a bone so he wouldn't squeak so much *grin

I think I have done my part to help our economy.
I justify all of the above because I either saved or it was birthday money. Nothing was purchased with credit. Besides I only have 3 more Christmas presents to buy.

Personal Animus Maximus

2008-10-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

I liked being portrayed as that so well I'm using it in the title today. It kind of makes me feel all sexy and stuff. Rowrrrrrrr. Snort

Hmmm, wonder which definition she meant:
1 : basic attitude or governing spirit : disposition , intention
2 : a usually prejudiced and often spiteful or malevolent ill will
3 : an inner masculine part of the female personality in the analytic psychology of C. G. Jung — compare

I'm going with number 3, and you can guess what she can do with my masculine part :) Isn't it amazing how I've embraced the Bully Girl in me! *rolls eyes

Ok, enough with the triviality, on to wittier things.

I am no longer Croquet Queen, got beat by my sister and a 12 year old! I was tipsy though. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

How many of you have googled the hummingbird position since watching My Own Worst Enemy lastnight? Tell the truth! I did. I was disappointed *pout

I know who has who (or is it whom) for Secret Santa. Neener, neener, neener. :)

I had other stuff to say but can't remember what it was. I hate when I do that. I may add more later.......

It's my Birthday and I'll laugh if I want to........

2008-10-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

Yep, it really is my birthday today, even if Agman started my birthday thread 2 days early *snort

I got a call at 3 am from Bre, wishing me a happy birthday. That made it a good birthday already, day done, I can call it a good one. I don't want to bore anyone with Bre stuff all the time but I'm saying here, my kid is better than I am. Her bathroom. a port a potty. Eight months with just a port a potty. Ewwww. I know, there's other things over there that are so much worse, but ick, having to go to the bathroom in a port a potty for 8 months would rank very high on my list of why I would be a whiner. But Bre. She's fine with it. *sigh I don't know where she gets her fortitude. Ok, enough Bre talk. Oh wait, I sent my first care package yesterday, anxious to see how long it takes to get there.

My MIL called me at 7:30 to wish me a happy birthday. Ugh, why does she feel the need to call so early on birthdays? She's always done that, even when I was in my 20's and she knew we had gone out the night before.

My best friend Lori called at 9. Now see, she knows me. You don't call until I've settled in for the morning. Morning bathroom ritual, check, hot tea, check, time to settle in at computer, check. Ok, time to call Dawnya, check. That's why were best friends. :)

BBQ at my place Saturday. All is invited. Croquet playing is a must. I will be defending my Croquet Queenship. (I'm a dork and have made a croquet trophy *snort It's just a croquet mallet painted gold)

I got my hair cut and colored yesterday. It's cute. Short and wispy curly in the back and then comes down to points in the front. The crown is short so it gives me some height :)

I usually get money for my birthday and then poof it's gone and I don't know where it went. So I ordered multi-colored Fiestaware chili bowls online and will just deposit the money in my acct and wala birthday present.

I snuggled under a snuggly blanket lastnight and drank spiked hot cocoa while watching the debate. Diesel snuggled against my feet. It was a good night. :)

It's beautiful weather outside, so I hope everyone enjoys my birthday day as much as I'm going to. 4 more years til the big 50. Can't wait. I always do some big trip on the 0 birthdays so I look forward to it instead of dreading it :)

Adding - Rob called and directed me to a spot he had hidden a birthday card for me when he was home last. It had a Lush gift card in it. He said he knew he wouldn't be able to be home today but wanted to make sure I knew he was thinking of me, besides a phone call. I love that man. :)

And....my bosses sent me flowers :) They're purty.

Update: Bravie - HELP! Rob snuck in right before midnight - He wasn't due in until Saturday morning so that was a great surprise. He brought me a Wii and Wii Fit for my birthday. That's where Brave comes in. I have no clue :) Rob's in the floor, mumbling to himself on hooking it up right now. He has a 360 so I'm regulating him to the tiny little portable tv to play his games :)

Gallbladder and things

2008-10-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

1. Gah! I thought kidney stones were bad. This sucks. And I so don't want to have surgery, though I know it's alot better than it used to be. The only time I've been in the hospital was to have my tonsils out when I was a kid and then to have Bre and that was almost 23 years ago!

But the latest attack was a doozy. For 3 hours I was in pain, like the kind of pain where you do the "I'm having a baby" breathing even tho you're not pregnant. The tossing your cookies because it hurts so bad, curling up on the bathroom floor because you're afraid to be too far from the bathroom type of pain. And then for the next 7 hours I moaned and was afraid to move much. A heating pad up against my stomach and a hot corn pad on my back (I didn't know gallbladders made your back hurt!)

After the cookout for all of our October birthdays - twin nieces, my mom's and mine - on the 18th I'm going in to have this thing yanked out!

2. Bre is at her permanent base. Not a "tricked out" one, darn it. But she does have access to email every once in a while.

3. I think my mowing should be done with for this year. Yay!

4. I have 5 or 6 freaking cats hanging around outside and this week I have been invaded by mice! I think because it's getting cold so they are coming in. I'm going to buy those traps where they go in and die. I don't want to see them, ick and I won't use the poison. Those stupid cats are worthless.

5. I love fall! :)

5.

Bre

2008-09-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Bre left for Iraq yesterday. She flew out of Maryland to Germany where she had a 3 hours layover then on to Kuwait where she will be for 3 days.

I spoke to her right before she got on the plane and then she texted me when she was seated. And then I cried :) She called when she got to Germany for a few minutes and that will be it for a while.

She's not sure where she'll be based, so we're not sure how many amenities she'll have. It could run the gamut of internet access in her bunk to a few minutes a month phone call. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's the first.

She did get to come in for 3 days last week, which was great! But it was hard to put her back onto the plane and watch her go. I haven't cried since she went to Hawaii for the first time and she was 18 then. I did wait until she was out of sight before tearing up, and then when I got to the car I kind of had a breakdown moment. I figured I'd get it out before getting on the highway, so I'm weeping and someone scares the crap out of me by tapping on the window. It was a police officer and his drug dog. He asked if I was ok, I cried "I just watched my daughter leave and she's going to Iraq". He backed away rapidly, told me to take my time and said he would patrol near until I was ready to leave. He was cute.

I plan on posting some pictures taken while she was here, but right now I'm being lazy.

Mike left Monday and they will be on different bases dammit. But she does have a "battle buddy", hey that's what the service called him! His name is Jimmy, he's 6'6" and 235 lbs. He's married and treats her like a little sister. He told me he's instructed her that if she needs to go to the bathroom at night she's to get him up and he will walk with her, and pleaded she keep it to once a night. They bought walkie talkies so he can keep track of her. I think I love him :) I hate to admit, but her safety ON base is one of my greater worries. Isn't that awful?!

For those of you that are interested in sending books and things, even if you'd like to send generic stuff that she could disperse to everyone, let me know thru pm and when I get it I will give you the address. I'm only going to give the address to people I know, so if you're a stranger that's by chance reading this...move along. Of course I will give it to strange people I know which includes all of you :)

I hate knowing I can't pick up the phone and call her.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it.....

2008-09-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a 6 week writing course thru the local college here. You know, one of those adult learning classes. I figure it will work areas of my brain that have been left to atrophy for far too long.

So our first homework assignment is to write a paper describing a loved one. But you can only use colors, scents and spices to describe them. I have a week to do this and will probably not work on it until the weekend, but if you want to play have at it. :)

It's going to take me a bit to figure out if I want to describe Rob or Bre, or if I'll do what I normally do and pick both of them and see which paper I like the best.

Do you have a chartreuse you love or maybe a saffron, does the scent of a campfire bring to mind someone you used to love?

I have to admit, I think I'm going to enjoy this class. The teacher is animated and fun.

Copper bathtubs and other stuff

2008-09-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

See these? I want them, well not both of them but one of them. Wouldn't a Lush bath be fabulous in one of these tubs. Yummmm.

There's a store in Dripping Springs where if I could buy one of everything they carry I would die a happy woman. I sat in the top tub there, hey...I needed to make sure I fit nicely! They have this armoire that was this old heavy wood and the door was inlaid copper *sigh

I worked hard in TX and they are up and running. I was well paid and they took great care of me while I was down there (read well fed). My favorite place to eat was Mondola winery, the food was wonderful but the tasting room was even better.

I freaked out when I found a scorpion in my sink while I was washing my hands. I screamed like a girl, Heather came in, calmly took off a shoe and squished it like the little bug it was. Hey, I would have done that had I been wearing shoes!

Diesel and their Great Dane, Mojo, were buds by the second day *whew. It would have been a long 3 weeks otherwise.

Rob was home when I got back *big grin. We had a big picnic and float trip on Saturday of Labor Day and then on Sunday we knocked out a wall at my mom's. That! was fun! and it looks great. Anyone need a wall knocked down? I'm your girl. I know all about headers and support beams and whitchits and whatchits!

My house needs dusted badly. Three weeks closed up and it's dusty. Can't wait to see the next utility bill *grin

I'm all over the place with this post I know but.......

My new favorite wine is Canto Felice. It's a red but tastes like a white. It's quite yummy. I saved a bottle from everyone especially for Lush baths. Is that stingy of me?

My best friend and my sister are now divorcing. Not each other sillies. I'm relieved, but I'm also sad with the friends divorce as her husband and I always teased that we were long lost bro and sis as we're so similar in tastes. It'll be weird when she's with someone else for a while. And I hope I can substain a friendship with him. We'll see.

I was only going to be gone a week not 3, so my fridge was very scary when I got home! Ack.

If you all remember when I sold off everything way back when and went on the road with Rob you might remember me stressing over finding a home for Olivia, my Quaker parrot (who by the way masturbates like a hussy). Well, best friend wound up taking her. Now because of the divorce she's brought her back to me. Yay. She talks (I taught her to say "here kitty, kitty *snort) and laughs alot. They didn't take as good care of her as I would have liked but at least I wound up with her. She's got a vet appt to get her beak filed. Yikes.

Ok, I think I'm rambling. Hope I'm back for a while.

Kind of back

2008-09-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

but not completly.

When I got back my server had been hacked and a bunch of chinese crap had been added to it. Every time I tried to do something it would take me to this weird chinese dvd website. *shakes head.

Anyway, server is still being fixed and I'm still on a crappy laptop. I hate laptops! And for some reason I can't log on here or into my mail thru my regular internet. I'm having to remote on to my cpu in Dripping Springs and then access the internet thru there. Weird, huh?

I do still LURVE you *sticks tongue out at Breezy* and misses all of you bunches and bunches! My life is not the same without you.

Big smooches to all.

7 Days does not 3 Weeks make

2008-08-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Still in Austin (technically Dripping Springs). Was originally was only suppose to be here from Sunday to Sunday, but by the time I get home I will have been away for 3 weeks. My bosses father-in-law has taken pity on me and went over and mowed my lawn for me. He's a huge sweetheart.

I'm homesick, but it's nice to be begged for my time :) And the perks have been nice. Except for the lack of OT time :(.

When does it turn into a kidnapping? *ha

Mish Mash

2008-08-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

1. My sister has drug me into her affair and I'm totally ok with it for very selfish reasons. She called and asked me if she could park her car at my house for the weekend. Her and boyfriend are going to OKC and she wanted to ride with him. Before you start telling me I shouldn't have let her involve me two things a) her car is a 2008 Mini Cooper convertible Sidewalk edition - I made her leave the keys and told her I would be driving it all weekend (she turned a little green but handed them over) and b) I don't like her husband, he takes cheap shots at Rob every chance he gets and I can't stand him. *sigh I'm shallow.

2. I will be going back down to Austin Sunday and will be down there until the next Sunday. I'll be staying with my bosses, the doctor and the dentist. The plus to this visit is that since he's picking me up in his plane I get to take Diesel with me, Yay. I don't like leaving him so I'm much relieved they offered to let him come. The down side is that I don't know how much internet time I will have. Last time I had my old laptop with me and was at the Hilton, this time I don't know if they have wireless and I hate to tie up theirs, so.. The only down side to not traveling commercial is that it's a single engine plane and those make me a tad nervous.

3. I've scrubbed the house and trimmed the yard, so I'm hoping when I come back I can just fall apart. The one thing I'm sad about is that my tomatoes are just starting to produce, I planted late, and a week without water is going to toast them I'm afraid. These are the Cherokee Purple that are supposedly very finicky but I've got tons of babies. I'll just hope for the best.

4. I'm borrowing a car next Friday night and driving down to San Antonio to see my oldest friend (oldest as in length of time not age) and I'm totally excited. On a side note: what do you call a friend that up and into adulthood was your BFF, but it turns out that last F was false - you still consider her your childhood BF but now you have an adult BFF?

5. There's a new post up in Mystic's blog. Check it out. *hint

6. If I'm not around until next week I will miss you. and PS - Some of you - Alot of you - need to update your blogs!

Bully?

2008-08-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

You know, I didn't know if I was actually going to blog about this or not. I had to sleep on it, mull it around, let it sit for a bit. Did I actually care? or Was it just a bit of irritation that would fade rapidly, kind of like that damned mosquito bite on my arm?

So I did, I thought about it and there are things I want to say.

I was basically called a bully lastnight and while knowing who I was being grouped in with I didn't particularly have a problem with that, it did strike me as ridiculous. In the past there have been posters on a different sight that I have thought what they were posting was bullshit, sometimes I say something and sometimes I don't. If someone happens to agree with me when I do say Bullshit and post their opinions why does that make us into a group?, or even bullies in a group? I'm not even sure why the originals Bullies were deemed Bullies, although I suspect it's for the same reason as I am now classified as a Bully. How stupid.

I've never been called a bully before, hell I suppose I've been called lots of things, in fact the same person that called me a bully also implied I was a racist and a sexist, two other things that's totally laughable. All of this from someone I thought I got along with and have even had nice exchanges with, though alot of the times I think she uses bullying techniques to get her opinion across.

So do I care I've been called a bully, a sexist, a racist and maybe even a fucking bitch? Not so much, I know who I am and how I am. And from the pm's I received from people I haven't even really had alot of interaction with I'm starting to feel a little sorry for the person that's calling me a bully.

I did look up the definition for bully (hint: definitions are what some should use sometimes)

bul·ly 1

n. pl. bul·lies
1. A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.
2. A hired ruffian; a thug.
3. A pimp.
4. Archaic A fine person.
5. Archaic A sweetheart.

So upon reflection maybe she meant I was a fine, sweetheart of a person. *head tilt, smile, bat eyelashes.......throws self on the ground laughing* Okay, or not.

I'm Pissed

2008-07-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Bre called lastnight and she's doing really well. She's gone thru grenade training (was 1st in her group for range and accuracy, I told her it was all those years of playing 3rd base varsity softball), totalled 3 humvees during driving training - thankfully they were simulated humvees, and spent a week learning triaging and first aid - she got the vein the first try when learning how to do an IV, unfortunately the guy that did her had to dig for it.

She was in the midst of cleaning her guns when she called.

And all of that is not what I'm pissed about.

During our discussion we talked about her equipment and she told me that while she was in Iraq if she had to travel in a convoy as intelligence she would be in an "Up-armored humvee", when I asked what that meant she said that they are basically a better protected humvee. That they will survive an IED attack, they would roll around but still protect against a bomb blast. My response to this and not directed at her....but why doesn't all our people over there get FUCKING UP-ARMORED HUMVEES, holy shit, what do you mean we have a way of protecting our soldiers and we can't supply it?!

But wait, it gets better. Mr and Mrs Fooner are supplying Bre and Mike with better equipment than what the military hands out (and that is a whole 'nother post that requires me to figure out a way to express my gratitude to those two wonderful people), we've bought her a pair of Oakley sunglasses that are bullet resistant, multi-use tools that are an upgraded, ect. Well, it seems that alot of people are doing this for their family members and the companies that have contracts with the military aren't happy about it. So those companies and our government are talking about now NOT ALLOWING military people to carry anything not made by a company that doesn't have a military contract. WTF-ever. I said to her, you're getting issued the stuff anyway, so what difference is it to them if you buy elsewhere. Well, it seems that what they're issued isn't as good of quality as the stuff they can buy at the PX/NEX, so they want you to upgrade, but only from them. My question - WHY THE HELL AREN'T THEY GETTING THE BEST STUFF IN THE FIRST PLACE? I understand contracts, what I don't understand is the mindset of these people.

I hate greed. And this is what pisses me off.

It's hard to go to OT right now

2008-07-21T10:11:00.001-07:00

Everytime I go there I read about Mystic and Mr Mystic and my heart shreds.

I laid in bed lastnight thinking about her and him and praying. And I cried myself to sleep thinking how easily we lose that which we love.

I think/hope Rob and I have that kind of relationship and I can't imagine never hearing his voice, or being able to reach across the bed with a foot to touch his and it broke my heart for her.

I know that alot say that everything happens for a reason, but when things like this occur it's hard to believe those people.

I went floating yesterday, just me and a friend. I found some flowers that I wound together and sent them floating downstream with a prayer for Mr Mystic/John. I hope someone heard it.

I still don't understand how bonds are formed with people I've never met and most who I'll never meet, but know that I think of all of you and most on OT as true friends. And I truly hope Mystic does find comfort on OT because she is loved.

Another kind of ritual

2008-07-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Preparations made, candle lit, water runs hot, the scent of Karma fill the air, an icy cold one had been cracked. O.A.R.'s Shattered plays softly in the background.

Slowly she steps into the barely tolerable, immersing with baby gasps. Muscles tensing then slowly relaxing as the heat demands. She feels beads of moisture rise across the bridge of her nose. Perspiration, no exertion required.

Not physically, anyway.

Gradually she lays back, liquid enveloping her body as scents envelope her mind.

An escape this ritual must remain.

She raises one foot, noticing the blush of heat, wondering about the bruise on the back of her calf. Adjusts the flow with one Aphrodite's Pink Nightie painted toe.

Silently she picks up the bottle, noticing absently as the perspiration runs slowly down the sides, much like that which runs down one cheek. Sweat or tears, it doesn't really matter nor which you can tell.

An icy pink fingernail scratches at the label, until a memory from college surfaces, laughing slightly she allows the finger to continue. If anything this night is true is she could be described as frustrated.

Tipping the bottle, she feels the cold, icey in direct contrast to the heat simmering around her. The bitterness of coffee and chocolate melding well with her mood.

Pulling the bottle away she spills a droplet on her chest. Suddenly her whole existence centers on that one small spilled drop.

She bargains.

A direct line to navel and the universe promises, promises all will be right.

She slips deeper into the water as that betrayer of promises slips under one breast.

She feels bubbles rise around her neck to playfully tickle earlobes.Stupid, stupid bubbles, don't they know they're just hastening their death?

A prayer on swollen lips, she starts..."Dear God"....and the prayer dies. She's forgotten how, it's been too long. Again she tries. Again she fails.

She tilts her head back, resting on that curve that has held her so many times before, this time it fails. Tears creep from the corner, falling, sliding, on their way to speed the dying of those sweet, silly bubbles.

With a last heroic move she slips below the surface......

Questions

2008-07-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

1. Ok, what would you say if your married 4 times sister told you she was having an affair with a married man that has two kids? *sigh

2. What would you say if an online friend told you she was thinking of having an affair?

3. What would you say if your bestfriend told you she thinks her husband is fooling around?

4. Why is my life surrounded by cheaters!?

...... and why hasn't anyone said how cute I am in the picture below dammit!

I'm not having a good day.

Morning Rituals

2008-07-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

I am a ritualistic person. And if my ritual is thrown off I'm out of whack for most of the day.
I used to get up 2 hours before work to have "slow time" but now since I work from home I only get up an hour early.

I stumble from the bed and into the bathroom for morning ablutions, I'm a shower at night girl so I'm done pretty quick. Walk to the door and let Diesel out, then into the kitchen to pop a cup of water into the microwave for tea. Back into the bedroom where I dress, and believe me that takes no time anymore, t-shirt and shorts. Ding, I plop my tea bag (I do vary my tea flavors, right now my favorite is Constant Comfort) into the hotwater and let Diesel back in. I add some Splenda to my tea and a splash of sugar-free hazelnut creamer.

Only now am I ready to cozy up to the computer where I play all the quizzes before doing anything else. Then I check out OT....and then I start reading blogs. I'm a bottom reader, not to be confused with a bottom feeder! I start with the bottom of my "Read blogs" list, so Zombs if you're reading this you're always first, so write more :) A quick click and I'll know if something's new and I'll be reading or not, you all don't write enough, I can tell you right now.

So by the time I'm done my first cup of tea is finished and I'm awake enough to start work.

So what's your morning rituals like?

And if you are not on my "read list of blogs" please tell me, the more blogs to read the more awake I will be :)

Marriage tag by the Puffmeister

2008-07-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

1. What date is your anniversary? We celebrate 2 since we lived together for so long. January 19th the day we.....first.....and May 7th, actual wedding date.

2. Where did you get married? Vegas, on Mother's Day at 4 am, at the Little White Wedding Chapel in the Tunnel of Love on the back of a Harley by Elvis.

3. Who proposed and how? I'm sticking with "He did", and I'm not really sure. Someone (he) said if we were ever going to do it this is the way it would happen and suddenly we were getting the license and poof.

4. How long were you engaged? Ummm, I guess about 2 hours. That's about how long it took to stand in line for the license and drive to the chapel.

5. What was your favorite part of your wedding day (and it can't be your husband). The cheesiness of it all.

6. What would you change if you could? I would wear something besides a black shirt and jean capris :) Wait, nah.....I wouldn't. So nothing.

7. There's no # 7.

8. Remember anything special about your wedding ceremony? It was all memorable.

9. Were you clean or messy when you cut your cake? We didn't have a cake. Maybe I would change that. Because I love cake!

10. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We stayed in Vegas for 2 extra days because we were saving for our 2 weeks in Hawaii later that year.

The End - Picnic and Goodbyes

2008-07-01T12:54:00.001-07:00

My Mom, Mike and Bre...Mom hates this pic, don't tell her I posted it :)

Bre and Mike drowning their sorrows at being the biggest losers on the croquet field.

Rob, BFF Lori, her daughter Ashley and my brother Tracy

Sister and the girls :), Mike, Bre and Me

The day started off great and with minor bumps stayed that way.

I had gotten almost everything done for the picnic the night before. The menu was simple. Dips, chips, burgers, brats, bbqed ribs and whatever anyone else wanted to bring. A friend had borrowed my big grill and was bringing it back this morning by 11. He didn't get there until 1pm but we adjusted and as I had decided to do beer ribs it didn't take much time to finish them off on the grill.

Bre and Mike were in charge of burgers and my brother Tracy and Rob were in charge of the brats and weiners. We had so much food it wasn't funny.....and beer, oh my heck did we have beer. And margaritas and wine and chocolate cake shots and green lizards and....yep, we had a liquor store worth of drinks.

So we pig out, and it was delicious. Except my bff Lori didn't bring the Dump Cake, but that was probably a good thing as it would have put us right over to a coma. And then it's Croquet Time, notice the capital letters :)

I forgot to pick up an extra set of balls and mallets, so we all teamed up. Somehow my brother and Rob became partners and my sil and I were teamed up, otherwise it was all husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, mom/daughter, etc. I'm probably the most competitive person I know but I've tried to calm it down in recent years so people will play with me :) but if I hit your ball in croquet you can bet I'm going to "send" you. *sigh I really try to be nice. But.....

Anyway, with one lucky shot my brat of a husband and my brat of a brother beat me and Donna Kay (isn't that an Okie name *grin) by one stroke. Ugh. Team Lucky (them) are the only ones that became poison. I like being Poison *pout! Team AnnaNicole got killed and Team Navy came in last.

We had a ball.

We started a bonfire and made s'mores and sat around and talked for a long time. Being a Sunday night the crowd started thinning fairly early. I think the last person, my mom...she's such a partier....left about 9:30. Bre and I cleaned up inside while the guys picked up the yard. And then we dropped into bed. By this time I'm thinking I'd pay good money to stay in bed for about 12 hours!

Cordie, Rob's mom, wasn't able to come to the picnic as Don had gotten out of the hospital only to have to be taken into the ER the morning of the picnic. His kidney had started bleeding, so they transported him to Tulsa. She was upset but I promised we come by the next day.

So Monday morning we head over to her house and have an early lunch with her at Chili's. Mike's grilled hard about his intentions, I would have felt bad but we warned him about her. And I have to say I was very impressed on how he handled himself with her. Not many can stand up to the Cordie lectures.

The kids have to get their stuff together so we head home. I grill steaks while Bre and Mike are packing and we have a nice dinner on the deck and watch a few dvds that evening and we're off to bed.

The next morning we're up and gone early. Stop in at IHOP for breakfast and get the kids to the airport in plenty of time. They are headed to Vegas from here where they'll be for 6 days, I think, then Mike heads back to HI for 2 weeks and Bre's off to Cali then to WI. We hug and kiss goodbye and send them off with a wave.

Rob's talking away and my chin's quivering. I haven't cried since we put her on the plane for Hawaii the very first time, but this time feels different. Rob looks over and asks if I'm crying...the idiot :).....and I start bawling, ok not bawling but pretty close. It's over quickly and I'm ok.....at least for now.....

Rob and I stayed in Tulsa for the day....Barnes and Nobles, Ricardo's, the motorcycle shop and then we met up with Lori and her crew....grabbed icechests, pizza and lounge chairs and went to the drive-in and watched The Happening....Ugh.

Bre had a ball in Vegas and as I post this she is getting ready for her first day of Combat Training.

Part Six - Float trips and Bar tips

2008-07-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Top picture taken last summer - The nieces (drunkey on the left) and Bre with blond hair.

Bottom pic - Bre and Mike at the bar after float trip

I was dumb and forgot the waterproof camera I wanted to get at Walmart, so no pics of the float trip. Damn it. One of the big things I regret about the visit.

We got up early and were ready to go when my nieces showed up. One of which was still drunk from the night before, and yes I was totally disappointed with her. She wound up crawling into bed and not going, which her sister probably had way more fun without babysitting someone that was already starting out drunk.

So Rob and I have our kayak's (we learned long ago if we're going to stay married we do NOT share a canoe!). Mike and Bre have a canoe and Jill and Nikki were suppose to have one. But....we get one canoe with a third seat. In retrospect I should have reserved a raft...next time.

Mike had told me out of everything we had planned for the visit this was the one he was least looking forward too. Seems in Philly you don't go near the water, but he'd already been flyfishing so he knew the water was okay. He asked if there were bathrooms along the river. *snort Um, no honey, there are bushes. He also didn't want to get out of the canoe into the water and sink in muck. You won't I assured him.

So we meet up with brother and sil, and take the short bus trip to the entry point and get set up. And we're off. For about 20 feet. Mike, Bre and Jill....plop. Over they go. Along with most of the 3 point beer ( I was smart and kept the 6 point with me and Rob). We get them situated again and scoop up the beer and head off again. We're only doing the six miler as we've got 2 newbies with us and I don't think they can handle the 13 miler. From the beginning to the end those three went over about 7 times, most of the time for no earthly reason but for one of them leaning to far over the side to look at the fishies. Or Bre getting daring thinking she could pull herself back in. But I have to say, all three are happy while tipsy :)

It was a gorgeous day, lots of sun with a cool breezy. We all had a great time. And we have two new float trip enthusiasts.

So we get home and all take showers and head to Granny's Attic. Rob has most of the pics on his camera, one of these days I may post some but probably not. SIL got really drunk, as in porcelain goddess drunk, but still had a good time. We have new converts to Chocolate Cake Shots also :)

This was probably my favorite day of the whole trip, but Sunday was pretty fun also. I just had to work more.

Part Five - Fun times

2008-06-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yay, all the yucky stuff is behind us. I hope :)

It's Wednesday, Thurs and Friday (otherwise this week's worth of blogging will be as long as a book).

Wednesday, Rob decides to take Mike flyfishing for trout. Mike's never been and as he's a total cityboy this should be fun. That's Bre helping Mike get his wader's on (I almost had to call them flyfishing thingamajigs, because I couldn't remember what they were called for a bit :) ). It's not a look you'll find me in anytime soon! Mike made Bre put them on also and she had her pouty face on the whole time, I can't say that I blame her.

We decide while they're out we'll pick up the grandma's and go shopping. Unfortunately, Rob's mom was at the hospital with Don, which is a whole 'nother story, but.....we had a very pleasant day with my mom.

The guys are suppose to meet us for pizza at Sam & Ella's but 9pm gets here and no guys. We go and pick up pizza because we're craving it and the men finally drag their butts in about 10pm. Mike caught 3 trout and Rob 4. Though we voted Mike best fisherman as one of his was a brown which are harder to catch. Rob was like a proud papa. They cooked their trout and Bre and I ate pizza. I don't like trout. Ick.

Thursday is beautiful, so we pack up the cooler and head to the dock. Poor boat hasn't been out all season. The lakes still high, but I've been on it so much I pretty much know where to avoid. So we do some tubing. And let me tell you I'm very adroit at flipping a tube :) Not only did Bre have a time of it trying to stay on but so did her swimsuit top.

Friday saw Bre and I get up early and it was pouring but we had important things to do. We were meeting with my Dr to get our underarms lasered. It hurt a bit but not having to shave, uh YAY. He just bought a laser and they were training so we were guinea pigs. Turned out great. I'll have it done once, maybe twice more and then no more shaving for me....ever. He's going to do Bre again when she gets back. My brother and sil came in that evening....so we headed to Wallyworld to pick up supplies for the float trip on Saturday (which btw thanks for all the good thoughts, weather was perfecto!) and then went bowling. Where I broke 4 nails, ugh. But I bowled a respectable 210. And then we went to this new bar that opened up in town, Granny's Attic, my kind of place :) Actually, it reminds me of Cheers with a shuffleboard table. Bre and I lost to Mike and Rob, they cheated.

So to bed with us. Long day on Saturday.

see, three days in one post is so much better :)

Part Four - Road trip

2008-06-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

Before we left for Missouri I told Bre to get everything she had with her, dog tags, orders, med records, etc. We headed out early and the trip went fast and smooth. For once, yay. I'm thinking Mike might be our lucky charm.

Rob's waiting for us in Springfield, so we pick him up and head down to the driver's license bureau. You can tell Bre's getting anxious and probably a bit sick at her stomach the closer we get. Luck was smiling on us this day. There is one person at the counter and a sweet looking young girl maning the counter. Bre's number is called and she explains the situation. The girl's all "oh honey, it's all okay" asks a few questions and wa-la "here's your id". I love this girl. She's thanked profusely. The id gets passed around. People are wishing Bre and Mike good luck. In the meantime Mike has a funny look on his face, I asked him what was wrong. His reply "um, I have one of Bre's old driver's license in my wallet". What?! Women are cracking up, he gets hit a few times. Seems he snagged Bre's old expired permit and put it in his wallet. It wouldn't have gotten her on a plane as it was way expired, but it would have maybe waylaid some anxiety on getting her driver's license! Smack that boy!

We want to go to Nakato's for dinner, but know Rob's family won't want to. So we ask if they want to me at Barnes and Nobles. We get there and I have to say I really like Bitnop's (I'm not sure if that's how it's spelled but that's the way you pronounce it) boy's. They are adorable. She's sweet but very shy and speaks almost no English, so it's a struggle somewhat. Jack wants to take us to this Vietnamese restaraunt, we're not sure about this but okay.

I ordered a soup, all the while keeping in mind I'm going to pigout at Nakato's later that night. That soup was awesome! Clear broth, with chicken and uncooked fresh veggies, bean sprouts, cilantro, etc. Yummy.

The haven't seen Bre since she left for bootcamp 4 years ago so there's alot of catching up to do. It was actually a much more pleasant visit than I anticipated. And they didn't grill Mike once.

We took our leave and stopped at the bank so I could take care of some business while in town. And then we four piggies headed to Nakato's, the best Japanese steakhouse ever built. I'm thinking there's no way were going to eat much. I was wrong. We truly are pigs this day!

After dinner we head back home and make it with no other incidents. Yay us.

Part Three - The day we should have stayed in bed

2008-06-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

Once again, should you be reading this start with part one.

So it's Monday and lots to do. This is how we planned our day......Get up, have breakfast, drive in to Broken Arrow to pick up rental car so the kids would have their own vehicle, drop off my car at a friends for today and tomorrow, head to hospital to visit father-in-law, pick up Mike at 4pm and then meet friends for dinner at Ricardo's. Head home.

This is how it actually played out.

Slept thru alarm.....actually two alarms. Ack. We grabbed a bowl of cheerios and head out. Thank goodness we took showers the night before. We get in to the rental agency and ack again, I left my wallet with my credit cards on the table. So Bre pulls hers out, the guy behind the counter says it'll be an extra charge because she's under 21. Grrrr. She tells him she read on their website that if you are active military then that is waved. He pushes some buttons on his computer and viola.

So now we're thinking so far so good. Right?

Bre jumps in the little rental car and we head to Broken Arrow to drop off mine. The rain comes in hard and heavy and Bre's nervous about driving in Tulsa. Pffft, Honolulu's traffic is MUCH worse. So far, so good.

She wants me to drive. So we play chinese firedrill in the rain and head to the hospital. Don's surgery went fine, the tumor was fully encapsulated and they're waiting on the path report on the two spots on his liver. He's in the Cancer Centers of America, holy sheesh. This place has valet parking, they give you this nice fluffy robe, a really good continental breakfast is laid out for guests and relatives. Very nice place, not that I want to ever need it, but....A++ for aesthetics.

As we're walking in Bre asks if I locked the doors because she forgot her wallet. Yes, does she need the keys. No she says, as long as I locked it. So we go up and visit for about an hour and then we're headed to pick up Mike. It's pouring when we get outside. Pouring.

Bre gets to the car and waits while I unlock it then starts looking for her wallet. It's not there. She's freaking, I'm freaking, it's pouring and we're soaked. I'm sure it's slipped inbetween somewhere and tell her when we get to the airport we'll find it. The airport has covered parking so at least we won't get soaked.

I'll finish the post by tonight, I promise myself.......

Keeping my promise:

Ok, picking up where I left off.....we get to the airport and tear the car apart. It's nowhere. OMG. Bre's about to cry, she had all her credit cards, drivers license, military id, birth certificate (don't ask), etc. Her life, and we women know exactly what that means. Mike's plane is landing, so we meet him at baggage claim. Poor Mike, I think he was already regretting coming. But he was really good with her.

We called the rental agency, the information place at the hospital, drove to the agency, back to the hospital and out to the friends. Nothing. We still think it was dropped at the friends where their dog found it, raped it and buried it.

Luckily she had not changed her drivers license to Hawaii and we already had a trip to Missouri planned for the next day. So I was hoping that we could get a copy with no other id. She called credit card companies, who were great btw. All said they would expedite cards out to her and she would have them by the end of the week. She contacted her Commander who is going to be in California when she's there and he said not to worry he would escort her onto base where she could get a new military id. Of course all of this hinges on getting her drivers license or she won't even be able to get on the plane.

Mike and Bre and 6 others have a Vegas trip planned and will be leaving on Tuesday. So we have to get a picture id before then.

We meet Lori and family for dinner, where by this time Bre and her wallet had become a joke, which she bore gracefully. She takes after her mom :)

Got home and I went to bed.

Tomorrow ~ Trip to Springfield, pick Rob up, try and get driver's license, visit Rob's dad and the new family that speaks fluent Vietnamese and little English and get back home in one piece.